Help

I’ve been really struggling for the past year and I don’t know what to do about it. I think I might have depression. I hate myself so much, every time something bad happens I convince myself it’s all my fault and everyone would be better off without me. I have really bad urges to hurt myself. I have before and it’s been better the past few weeks but it’s still there. Sometimes I think about ending my life. I feel really worthless and lonely. All I do all day is sleep, play video games or watch tv. If I have to do something it’s horrible and I feel like it’s the end of the world. I stay up all night and sleep into the after noon. Sometimes I go to bed really early and still wake up at like 2pm. Some days I don’t eat at all because I feel fat and want to loose weight. Other days I eat all day long. I’ve told my parents about a lot of this and i was in therapy for a little while. I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety and I take medication for that. It’s supposed to help but it doesn’t and I feel like no one understands. There’s nothing really wrong with my life so I feel really guilty for being this way. I don’t know what to do. This is probably a stupid idea but i really don’t want to talk to my parents or my friends about it.

Hello winchestler: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. There's a sub-forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject of social anxiety. Here's a link just in case you haven't already noticed it:

https://psychcentralforums.com/socia...ective-mutism/

And then here are links to a selection of 9 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that touch upon some of the concerns you raised:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

Social Anxiety Overview | Psych Central

https://psychcentral.com/eating-disorders/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emoti...g-self-hatred/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-worthless/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/breaki...ds-of-badness/

https://psychcentral.com/guilt/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hello & Welcome, Winchestler.

Feel free to ignore the questions.

What was going on before you started struggling?
Have you had a full medical workup including a complete blood count/panel?

You're not alone in how you feel. I suffer from server depression and self esteem issues. Much like you I have "No reason" for feeling this way, which doesn't help. I don't talk to family and friends about it because they won't get it so why bother. I just let them go on thinking everything is sunshine and rainbows. It seems like you're under a doctor's care if you're getting meds. Tell them about this. Let them know the medicine isn't working. Unfortunately beyond that I really don't have any helpful advice for you. Just know you're not alone and feeling the way you feel.

Yeah you are definitely not alone. I feel like you just described me to a T. I was just about to go lie down because I got some news that kind of shook me a bit, but I came on here instead. I'm glad I did. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Welcome to pc

There's no need to have a "reason" to be depressed, @winchestler If someone got sick with a disease, would you ask them the "reason" why they're sick? Sometimes there isn't and it doesn't make it any less valid. Try to see it this way. You are just as important and valuable as any other human beings. Please be kind to yourself. I'd suggest to be honest with your parents at least. Even though they may not fully understand your pain if they haven't been depressed themselves, you are their child and it is their duty to take care of you. I'm glad you're taking some meds but I do believe therapy is fundamental. Are you still seeing one or did therapy get interrupted? It can take time before finding the right match. Perhaps you can ask your Pdoc or your Doctors if they can refer you to a GOOD Therapist.Please don't give up your search and try to speak up to your parents. They're there to help you. Hopefully they'll understand and try their best to help you Feel free to PM me anytime about ANYTHING. I'm here for you. I'm sure everyone else on PC will also gladly listen to you. Please keep venting and writing. We understand your pain. Please don't you EVER give up hope. I hope things will get better soon for you. Hang in there, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to you and MANY positive vibes to you and your family, winchestler!

Thank you 💜