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  #1  
Old Jul 02, 2019, 04:13 PM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Wonderland-Everyoneland
Posts: 1,533
In a year I will be a pharmacist.

I have done all my exams more or less OK and the paper I wrote is about to be published.

I feel like ****, like everything I do is deeply wrong for some reason that lie between me and myself. My existence seems wrong and just it.

I am sorry If my speech is weird, I took 2mg of ativan, zolpidem and 75mg of pregabaline. I am tired and wanted to rest and forget everday problems for a while. I am falling asleep.

On Thuersday I am going to see a psysh nurse that is going to decide what to be done with me.y

Love to everyone
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Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
Hugs from:
CepheidVariable, Rohag, Skeezyks, Thirty shades, unaluna

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  #2  
Old Jul 02, 2019, 04:25 PM
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OliverB OliverB is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Wonderland-Everyoneland
Posts: 1,533
I don't know what to tell to the nurse, why would she believe me?

I hate being alive because being alive has always ment pain.

I would like to live without it

I would like to have had a family that respects me

I would like to don't feel that everything I do is a piece of ****. and I am a pice of **** and should be dead.

I doon't know while somethimes I feel bad but keep functioning, but at other times it gets so bad I start thinking I shouldn't be alive.

I don't feel anything I do is nice.

I feel like the most horrible human being that has ever dare to exist.
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside

Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
Hugs from:
CepheidVariable, Mopey, Skeezyks, Thirty shades, unaluna
  #3  
Old Jul 02, 2019, 05:45 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
I'm sorry you feel so down on yourself. It sounds to me as though you have some accomplishments you can feel proud of. I hope that, in some way, you can find a path to deep peace within.
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
Thanks for this!
CepheidVariable, OliverB
  #4  
Old Jul 03, 2019, 01:36 AM
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Thirty shades Thirty shades is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,816
OliverB
Thanks for this!
OliverB
  #5  
Old Jul 03, 2019, 01:54 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
OliverB
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Thanks for this!
OliverB
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