[Stuck1nhead]

My whole life I’ve always felt like I should care more in life. Whether it be my health, studying, work, or even for those around me. I have emotions; sometimes. But they always felt shallow. Sometimes I feel like my reactions are based what is expected of me by others. Kind of like “oh that child is starving in some far off country. I guess I should feel upset” so I’ll voice those emotions. But in reality I don’t find myself particularly caring about said starving child. This lack of caring is just but one of the mental states that confuse me

The next would be shallow emotions. It’s always felt like my emotions aren’t as strong as they should be. I’ve felt good about things but never happy or joyful. I don’t get excited about stuff. I don’t particularly get upset either. I may get frustrated with my wife, job, money, etc...

Third is my attention. It’s always lacking. I zone out very easy and only things that I’m interested in can keep my attention for any amount of time. Obviously this has made school a issue for me. But thankfully I’m done with school.

Fourth is the lack of sincerity when I voice my opinion. It’s like I’m just voicing the opinion that society would deem as correct. Like I really don’t have an opinion of my own.

Fifth, is violence. I’m not a violent person unless pushed. Then I black out and generally overreact. But I find virtually nothing to get angry about. I’ve always had a shrug it off mentality and I never hold grudges. However my mind is incredibly violent. I often find myself preparing or rehearsing situations in my mind where I would have to defend myself or those around me. Sometimes though I even have thoughts of violence towards those I hold important to me. Which is what freaks me out the most.

Not sure if I’m just chronically depressed or a psychopath.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'd say that your lack of emotions is mostly a symptom of Depression @Stuck1nhead! However, I'm not a doctor so I can't tell for sure. Please don't be hard on yourself. You're not a bad person. You're not doing anything wrong after all. Please be kind to yourself. Have you tried to bring up your concern to a professional? Please consider that if you haven't already. I also wouldn't worry too much about your thoughts - they are just thoughts after all. Keep posting here if it helps. I don't think you're a psychopath but if this is bothering you perhaps a professional opinion may clear things up. Wishing you the BEST of Luck with whathever you decide to do! Please keep posting here if it helps. KEEP FIGHTING! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, @Stuck1nhead, and ALL of your Loved Ones!

[Dag4170]

Not an expert, but I don't think you're a psychopath. Feeling badly or freaked out about violent thoughts about your loved ones is a good indicator of remorse. Which automatically means you're not a psychopath. You seem to know right from wrong, and you have morals, which also means no psychopathy. I do know that depression can partially or completely diminish other emotions, leaving you feeling dead inside. It also desensitizes you to events that should cause you great concern. You should definitely speak with a professional. Something as small as taking a little pill every day can make all the difference in your life. Good luck!

[Stuck1nhead]

Hey y’all thank you for your response. What brought on this little issue was my depression was pretty high due to me forgetting to take my meds before I left for work.