[puzzclar]

Can't I just be a kid for 5 minutes? Maybe that would end the confusion.

If I go to inpatient treatment, I could lose my job. but If I don't then who knows what will happen.

Possible trigger:

I want to die. I hate my situation. I should call but I'm not going to do the act. It's a desire. I just can't do this life....... I can't adult today. I have writing to do for class (I'm in grad school) Yet with all the stress of possibly losing my job if I have to have further treatment. IT makes me scared to call. I really should call but I'm not going to act on the thoughts. What's my intention?

I don't want to adult today. I don't want to write. I've had enough S***. and I normally don't swear. This all comes down to one phone call that I had today. I did call my T already and I know he is in session. I cant' bring myself to interrupt anyone else's time with T.

The post is on if I was a different gender/intersex. IT's a hard topic. and I can't' handle this topic. I have three to choose from and they're all just as bad.

How can I do this anymore????????????????????????????
am I pushing myself over the edge now?
I can't adult today, Why can't I call in and say.....

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much @puzzclar Do you have a therapist? What do they say? HUGS Kit

[puzzclar]

@SlumberKitty I had an appointment on Monday with t. I left frustrated. I have an appointment with my pdoc later today. I'm trying to get through work and not scream.... I feel like if I have forced time off that I'll lose my job. But that may end up happening, the forced time off. I feel very unsettled and I'm trying not to break down. I have to remember that I'm stronger than I think I am.
Thank you

[Fuzzybear]

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

@SlumberKitty I had an appointment on Monday with t. I left frustrated. I have an appointment with my pdoc later today. I'm trying to get through work and not scream.... I feel like if I have forced time off that I'll lose my job. But that may end up happening, the forced time off. I feel very unsettled and I'm trying not to break down. I have to remember that I'm stronger than I think I am.
Thank you

I hope your Pdoc can help. In the meantime, keep talking here if you like. I was worried about losing my job once because I had to take like 11 days off due to mental health issues but it ended up being okay. I hope that if you need to have the time off that you don't lose your job. You are strong. You are courageous. You battle beautifully. I'm sorry you are feeling so unsettled. You are brave. You are doing the best you can and your best is enough. HUGS Kit

[puzzclar]

I am being switched to a new med. Vylraia or however you spell the med. I hope it helps. SO far I haven't been able to type very well, due to a headache. and will take time off from driving for a night. I hope I don't need emergency intervention. And I hope the med does play nicely with my body and no side effects. IT's scary doing a med change while not in a safe environment. I haven't had this big of one in a while. I'm going to shut the computer down since my head hurts too much.

[puzzclar]

Now I'm wondering how much I can take before I crack... So to speak.

I need to make firm decisions. Easier said than done, I know.

I also need to see what I want to do with work. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Either cut hours or change positions.