bad day... for a few things

I keep pushing people away from me...
Sometimes I don't even mean to, but I've realized I keep doing it. I just cut contact with the one person I can always chat too online and really smile with because it was making me feel too lonely. in fact I'm not logging into online chats like normal.
and today... here's an example. My friend called me to ask if I had some scotch tape so she could borrow it for a final due that night. I almost lied that I didn't have tape, or that I wasn't in my room just to avoid the contact. I get upset because I'm feeling alone yet I dig myself into deeper holes.
this is so aggravating...

and then I also didn't call the counseling service as planned today... I think subconsiously I waited for the place to close before "remembering" to call... wouldn't put that past me -.-
I don't even know what would talking to someone help with? I'm sure alot of people on here go,... what do you do in sessions... that help...

I'm sorry I've been posting so much... I'm just at a point where... I feel like don't have the energy to fight anymore...

hey turquoise (((smiles)))

imust of seen at least 7 different counselor/therapists... in the beginning and throughout i had difficult times and felt progress was very slow and clunky.. didnt stick and i really did want something to breakthrough somehow, but it just wasnt happening!

there were a few therapists i remember best... the first was a male, he listened... he talked to me.. he answered my questions... he validated me as aperson.. and he didnt always charge me...

the second was a woman... she went further than the average therapist in expressing her sincere caring that i find relief... she invited me to her house... we had spaghetti and talked.. she told me some of her own pains and frustrations... we almost shared ame levels then... but i still felt too inferior and still carried a lot of issues...

but each, because they were able to convince me that they possessed true compassion, made them stand out...

keep posting.. youre welcome here..... you cant post too much... we're all here to support... like you do...

Is this your first year in college? It's hard going through so many changes. Why don't you go ahead and call the counseling service. It can be really comforting to have someone to talk to and make a connection with.