[Gasplessy]

I wouldn't care about my own suffering if I could just repair some relationship that I madly messed up, but no one talk to me anymore and I cannot even explain things, and even if i could I...
I just want to rewind to 2016 that's it
And then I remember that before I met him (in 2017, a guy) i was really depressed and emotionally dead
The mad year was 2017. I went from depression to psychosis by acting in a stupid way

Sorry, this thread is useless

I engage in a lot of magic thinking
I know it's wrong but can't accept a specific thing that happened

I'm tired and just want to work, eat and sleep and don't fall in love anymore

[TheSadGirl]

No apologies required and every thread is purposeful, even if just to get some thoughts out of your head. Talk as much as you need, I'm listening.

[Gasplessy]

"Obliviate..."

[TunedOut]

Not being able to stand what we have done can sometimes motivate us to make a change eventually. It is never to late to make changes in our life. Don't give up! Don't give in to your depression! I am rooting for you.

[MickeyCheeky]

I am rooting for you as well, @Gasplessy! I AM TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY AND THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! PLEASE NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SHARING HOW YOU FEEL! IT IS ALWAYS HELPFUL MUCH MORE THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE! TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT! I hope things will improve soon for you! The past can be painful. It is important to try to move on. I am sure you can make it one step at the time. PLEASE DO TREAT YOURSELF WITH AS MUCH KINDNESS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! THE KINDNESS THAT YOU NEED AND DESERVE! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to or vent to! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY, KINDLY, WISELY, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well if you just ask! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Gasplessy, your family, your friends, your ex-boyfriend and ALL of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! I AM TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY AND THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING!

[mountainstream]

[Gasplessy]

Thank you everyone

I did everything wrong and i'm so sorry

[TunedOut]

Now you know what not to do.

[Bill3]

[Gasplessy]

While i was messaging a guy this summer i wrote him very mad things
I was not stalkering, nothing offensive or violent. ...just non-sense

I was in the middle of a psychotic disorder/delirium almost, and had some difficulties with my speech

I managed to close the conversation in a almost normal way but didn't apologise after
I hope he forgot

Sorry for any mistake, i must improve my english

[Gasplessy]

Sorry, I know it's childish

But, sigh, once I used to be strong and quite reasonable

But I've been really out of my mind lately, I'm struggling to accept what happened
I lost control
I fall asleep and pretend to erase what happened in 2017, all the psychotic stuff
I dream about different realities, i keep escaping