I am working from home for the time being now. It’s going to be hard not getting depressed. I feel dispensable since I just had trouble doing a job. And also because I only do the easier work since I’m new and still training on harder jobs in my department. The training can take years.

It’s really different working at home. I hope trust wasn’t lost in me.

Most of the department are now working from home. Some people have been put on leave from their jobs. I’m worried.

[Rose76]

I'm in worse shape than I've been in for quite a while. I tell myself that depressive episodes don't last forever.

[Yzen]

Emotional tired tonight. Wishing everyone here peace and hope.

[guy1111]

Just feeling overwhelmed today. Feel like I have no support. I want to isolate. I just want the day to be over and go to bed. Have to do it all over again tomorrow. Have to take care of kids all day again because they are out of school. Which isn't bad. They are good. I just don't want to be around my spouse right now. Anyone that thinks they can help me I dont really want to talk to. I feel like I cant just be myself and relax. I feel like I'm in prison. Oh well. Maybe I'll try and read and take a shower and make some tea or something.

[puzzclar]

Today didn't go as I thought. I have work to do but had to take care of me. I'm a bit out of where I was. But not fully.

I am worried about tommorow. Worried about the virus. And many other things!

I will work on a jar for my worries and one for gratitude. I hope it helps.

I'm just tired. Have been all day.

[mote.of.soul]

At age 51 now, always struggling to want to be part of this life. Constant rationalizing the reasons to continue on & I'm glad I learned such a coping mechanism. But most everyday is all about tricking myself into a positive outlook against what my real self wants. Today I don't feel good about life - hardly ever do. There's only hope. The animals and nature I love, yes, but that's it. Depression. Who are your friends out there when everyone appears as alien - cold, scared shadows?

[Breaking Dawn]

Well, like this check in thread is titled, ups & downs. So I'm going to have me a cup of coffee.

I found out today that because of this virus outbreak, the woman might not be able to come for my meeting on wednesday

she has yet to email me to confirm a diffrent date or to ask if we can do it via phone

sort of frustrated... I needed this (even though I don't like the company)

I want to quit my job. I find it humiliating and I don’t belong there. People don’t trust me and I can’t advocate for myself. I don’t have anyone in my life who supports me. I’ve been all used up and I want to kill myself. I’m too screwed up to have a life.

[3rd rock]

Last night I looked through some old photos on my computer of a class trip from my 12th grade and I saw pictures of a teacher I had a huge crush on back then. It has me feeling very odd, sort of forlorn but not sad, like I'm recalling the way I used to feel about love and life generally.

[Breaking Dawn]

God bless you, @3rd rock! And thank you for sharing such a tender part of yourself. We all need to do that sometimes.

[Fuzzybear]

Hello

[Rose76]

I got way down in a miserable pit today. Sleepy and nauseated all day. I feel like I'm not fit for this life. Like I can accomplish nothing.

I feel very fortunate to have my job to go to. And I feel so guilty that there's nothing much to do. I'm scared for the future. This morning I went for two tests out of three to see what's going on with me medically. So far I got one result (a chest X ray) and that turned out to be fine. So one down and two to go.

This is really a hard time for everyone. Just this alone is beyond overly difficult enough as it is. But when you have depression, anxiety, other matters, and problems along with this Coronavirus thing - WOW!

[puzzclar]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I got way down in a miserable pit today. Sleepy and nauseated all day. I feel like I'm not fit for this life. Like I can accomplish nothing.

Rose, I thought that I was nothing, that I didn't matter. Sick from all the self hatred. Yesterday was a day that I didn't accomplish much. I was sad and anxious all day. I woke up and meditated then asked myself questions. By the end of the day I feel excited for life. Now to put this in perspective. I have had depression for 15 years or more. I was emotionally neglected by my father. I have spent lots of time understanding myself and today it finally clicked!
I put lots of work into understanding myself, and wanting to help others. I thought that majoring in Psychology would help. It didn't. I tried to work and that became hard. I reduced hours, and saw improvement. Then I started a mental health counseling program. I had a rough time two terms ago, and landed in the psych ward. After 6 months of work on a development plan, I see a bigger change.

Why do I tell you this? I am sharing principles that worked for me. Those being, never giving up, dedication, and non-stop effort. What do you need to apply for your own changes to happen.

We are not just our genes, we are also our environment. Don't just let something happens to you. Influence a part and one may gain more than expected!

I wanted to give hope to all those who are struggling.

[Sunflower123]

I’m feeling depressed today. I’m putting some structure and goals into my day to overcome this. I just feel so down right now.

[Fuzzybear]

Hanging onto some Rope (Zorah’s rope..) somewhere ...

Anxiety...(my anxiety) grrrrrr

[Yzen]

Half the time I feel depressed and anxious. Half the time I manage to gain some positivity and hope. I don't know how I feel...it's a mix of emotions in all directions.

I did the housecleaning and shopping like always on Saturdays. When I went shopping, people had to line up outside and the stores let "X" amount of people in at a time. It was not much of a wait. Once I got in there were not a lot of people in with me and the shelves were stocked. Except for paper items, cleaners, and sanitizers.

We are supposed to isolate during this crisis. Well, for what is being asked to do, it doesn't make much of a difference for me. My social life hasn't been much, so this is not a significant drop.

honestly I would feel a whole lot better once I know what's happening with this meeting

I can not survive for much longer in this situation

also in the UK today is mothers day

and I don't have a mom who cares, so this day always sucks