Wasn't busy today and boring. Also feeling depressed. I'm feeling like, lately, I'm doing things wrong. And then I worry if I will get let go from my job. Also it seems like my friend, and others, are being very negative. And that's all I am coming across.

I was going to workout today, but I went for a bike ride instead. I pretty much enjoyed it. I didn't workout today because my thigh, where I got my shot yesterday from the nurse, was very sore.

Same as yesterday. Feeling depressed and that something's bad is going to happen, but I don't know what it is. I should be happy with the way things are going for me but I don't. Lately I feel like I'm not liking my friend that much. But all along, as far as having him as my only local friend, I had always felt like I could do better.

I have not heard from my college friend in a while. I wrote about him on another thread somewhere else on Psych Central. My thread title was A Mention Of An Ex Friend and it was on the Coping With Emotions category. I mentioned to my friend, when I replied back from his message to me, that I was a bit upset at mentioning the ex friend. I hope my friend is not upset with me since I haven't heard from him in a good while. It's happened before.

[3rd rock]

I've had a very bad week at work. I'm consistently passed over for assignments other than my ongoing shift assignment, and management knows that I strongly dislike my current assignment. It's hard to explain without going into too great detail about the machinations of my workplace, but it's obvious that they're determined to stick me on my current assignment indefinitely. I don't know if they're trying to provoke me, or if they're just punishing me. Regardless, my psychiatrist has advised me to put up with it until this coronavirus situation/lockdown ends, at which time I can find a new job.

I felt better today because it's Friday but still feel depressed. And a little bit more busy today. Tomorrow, as always, will be a busy day doing domestic stuff.

I usually feel depressed this time of year. So many bad things happened; and it seemed like they all happened in the spring. The atmosphere seems to bring back memories of it. I guess that's why I'm feeling depressed lately.

I plan to call my college friend tomorrow to wish him a Happy Birthday. I hope I can reach him. I haven't heard from him for a while. I hope he's not mad at me. He's a type of guy who doesn't get mad very easily.

[Fuzzybear]

What I have found is that...

Possible trigger:

The undesirables usually eliminate themselves
This is not about anyone on pc or the current ''situation'' in the world

hugs and respect to all

[Fuzzybear]

There are a lot of scary negative things somewhere else I used to go

[Mountaindewed]

I was really positive all day, but tonight my depression has been pretty sucky.

Very busy this morning with shopping, laundry, and cleaning. All of that was all done, including finishing lunch, by 12:30. I was disappointed early this afternoon that I didn't receive any mail. I was expecting a check.

After lunch I called my college friend to wish him a Happy Birthday. We talked for an hour. It was nice talking to him. I was very worried that I had not heard from him in a while. I was thinking that he was upset with me. He wasn't upset at me at all, so that was a relief.

Later this afternoon there were a couple of old ladies sitting at the courtyard at where I live. They seem to be very noisy. I really hate a lot of noise, especially a lot of loud chatting. I have my front door and window open because it's pretty hot outside. Stuff like that is the reason why I hate spring and summer.

[3rd rock]

I've been watching old episodes of Star Trek Enterprise while working on my writing. I'm not very productive right now. After having called in sick on Friday I've managed some work on my writing, but not enough. I've been eating very poorly of late, and I've been feeling very sad. I haven't done much cleaning, or the laundry in a while.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling depressed today.

[puzzclar]

I want to do nothing. But I have two papers to write. And one I ma struggling with big time. I'm down today. I am scared and frustrated

Typical Sunday today. My sister called this morning. It went OK but she seemed out of it and not very focused. Also it seems like her memory is fading.

Went for a bike ride this afternoon. Nothing much after that.

[Rose76]

My sig. other is still in the hospital. He seems to be improving. Tomorrow I might get told to come pick him up. However, I don't feel I can cope with his care all alone. Thanks to COVID we have no home attendant. My bf just lost his ability to stand and hold his weight. I feel I can't handle caring for him 24/7 alone. But I don't want him to go to a nursing home. The VA has a hospice unit. I want to see if he can go there. This pandemic is a special nightmare for people in our situation.

[Sunflower123]

My anxiety is through the roof. I’m having a panic attack right now. I can’t imagine why. My daughter will be here is a few hours to stay for the month. What is wrong with me?

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @jennifer! I was thinking, could it be something subconscious related to your daughter's visit? I learned a trick for things like this. You put the fear, or whatever it is, (don't laugh) in a chair (even an imaginary one) & interrogate it in a nice way. When you ask it questions the answers usually come to you. Another way is to write the questions on a piece of paper. I put a "Q" in front of the question. Then an "A" in front of the answer. Often I just kind of know the answer at that point. Just for fun, wanna try it?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Hi, @jennifer! I was thinking, could it be something subconscious related to your daughter's visit? I learned a trick for things like this. You put the fear, or whatever it is, (don't laugh) in a chair (even an imaginary one) & interrogate it in a nice way. When you ask it questions the answers usually come to you. Another way is to write the questions on a piece of paper. I put a "Q" in front of the question. Then an "A" in front of the answer. Often I just kind of know the answer at that point. Just for fun, wanna try it?

That’s a great idea! I’ll try it! Thank you.

[3rd rock]

In a lot of pain right now. Very bad.

[Breaking Dawn]

I hope you feel better soon, @3rd rock. Sending you healing energy vibes.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I hope you feel better soon, @3rd rock. Sending you healing energy vibes.

Thank you for your kind words. I feel a little better now that I'm home from work.

A neighbour is blasting rock music at 8:30 at night. I would go and knock on his door, but I'm not sure which neighbour it is.

Fairly busy at work today. This morning I was starting to feel pretty good and then a fire alarm went off. It wasn't anything, just the alarm went off by itself. A fire engine came. And of course the maintenance man was out today for a long weekend, so I'm his backup. I had no clue on how to fix that. I don't know why the company makes me a substitute when I practically know nothing about that job. It felt humiliating. Oh, the maintenance man had to come in from home. What good is having a vacation when you have to come in to work?

[3rd rock]

I went and asked my neighbour, who is on the first floor and blasting music I can hear clearly and loudly on the third floor, to turn it town. I didn't ask her to turn it off, just turn it down. She said no. I asked the manager to talk to her. She said the bylaw is 11, which it isn't, you can't blast music like that at any hour. I checked the bylaw. Why can't she just be considerate? It's 9 o'clock at night!

[Rose76]

My bf came home from the hospital this eve. He's much improved. Still confused, but not delirious. I'm glad he's here with me.

This covid virus has me scared all the time now. I'm scared of increasing interactions with other humans. You don't know who is carrying death. And soon people will be less careful? Scares me.

The day was alright but then things took a bit of a nosedive in the late afternoon. I was on a roll with one little thing going wrong after another.

First, I decided to leave work for about a half hour around 2:30 so that I can go to a bank and cash a check. This is weird, but the company I work for sends me a "residual" check (like around $65) after I receive an electronic deposit. I went to the bank that's printed on the check instead of my bank; and then was told that it's not on their account. So after waiting about 10 minutes, no dice!

And then when I got back to work, there was a problem with a leaking pipe. The security guard asked me where I was. The maintenance man is still out, but it's his last day off. After that experience with the bank, I didn't need that. Well at least that problem with the leaking pipe was taken care of.

I got home and held a bag on one hand and my NuWave Oven on my other arm. When I set the NuWave down to the counter, like I've done many times, it got away and fell on the floor. Part of it cracked. And then in the mail, I got a statement that I owe money to the dentist. I had work done four months ago and I had already paid a balance with the dentist and the insurance.

So that's how it all went today.

[Mountaindewed]

My depression is kind of bad today. It’s not like the lying in bed for hours type that I had before kind. But it’s just the “what is the point” kind.

[3rd rock]

This week has been better. I've gotten two shifts with a different assignment than the one I hate, after I asked the man who writes the schedule. Next week holds some promise. But I'm frequented by bouts of inexplicable and sudden sadness and pain.