Some experiences toward healing I want to share.

We are all different! What works for one does not necessary work for another. From different articles around the net I have found what are supposed to be of help for most: Therapy/medications, good social relationships, healthy eating, physical exercising, relaxation exercisers and a reasonable schedule to follow every day. (Some even add to have a goal to work for).

It is a shame that therapy isn't available for all. But so it is. In numerous articles it shows that CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) helps in about 70 % of people with depression. Considering that, it means that only 3 out of 10 need another approach.

If there is no therapist available, try a self-help book which main topic is CBT. The one I have found most useful is this one: "Breaking the patterns of depression" by Phd Michael D. Yakpoo. It is a "doing book" more than a "reading book". That means that the book cannot help without practice.

So let us say that you buy this book or another CBT book. What if you do not have the motivation to do what is expected? I think lack of motivation is one of the biggest and ugliest wolves in the deep depressed persons life. May be there is only one thing to do with that and that is to set up 5 minutes every morning with reading and doing. These five minutes can be the start of being able to do it for 6 minutes, 7, 8, 9 and ten minutes. May be these later will turn into half an hour. Slowly, slowly the book and all it's exercises (or another book of similar type) will be available and hopefully a better mental health as well.

I think that many don't understand at first, that to become better one has to put an effort into it. When they understand, they might become frightened and curl themselves together as a ball for a while before they dear to stretch out and look around again. That is OK. To understand what big effort it takes to come out of depression is hard.

So, one step of the time is good, first five minutes and then more when one is ready. To make the first five minutes happen, it can be wise to use a reminder. Hang up a note on the bathroom door or find an app that will remind you. And never forget to give yourself pat on the back for being able to do these first five minutes and the later added one's.

But what about the rest: " ... good social relationships, healthy eating, physical exercising, relaxation exercises and a reasonable schedule to follow every day. (Some even add to have a goal to work for).

Why not make to become better one's first goal? Later one can start as voluntary in a church, red cross or another organization. Anxiety is difficult to cure, but not hopeless. There are different relaxation exercises at Youtube. When one learn to do such exercises before one goes to meet others, it helps to reduce the anxiety to a manageable level.

I, myself used the mirror a lot a long time ago when I needed that. I can only speak for myself, but to train again and again and again in front of the mirror helped me to take the calmness in front of the mirror out in the real life.

When one makes a schedule for the day or week, it is important to schedule time to rest and spare time, like a walk in the park, the forest or other, or time to see a movie alone or with others.

What if you have no friends? That is something one has to build. Use the "one step at a time" method. CBT is very helpful when it comes to not take everything personally and to build traits that are able to help one to not feel abandoned all the time. For some DBT will be useful. There are online apps for that as well. The biggest problem for many is probably where one shall meet such friends. PC is a good platform to start. Internet friends are better than no friends at all.

If you can accept social relationships at first and take it easy when it comes to friendship, you are wise. Friendships usually grow out of same interests and of having known each other for some time. So look at your interests: What are they: Swimming? Join a swimming club. Dancing? Join a dancing club. Chess? Join a chess club. Cooking? Look for a class.

What if you are still without friends when the class ends after a semester? Well, then you have at least learned to be active inside a social setting. You are ready to go for the next ...

I have not wanted to make this seem easy, but my heart is there for you. I decided to write something that perhaps could be a start for some of you. The road is long. It includes setbacks, but slowly, slowly ...

By the way, if you find no group to fit into, the DBSA (Depression and Support Alliance have both meetings in different countries and online).

With regards
A friend that feels much better, but who will pup in now and then.

Well said.Thank you.

Thank you for sharing that. Well put.

Singer47, just wanted to share how much I appreciate this little writeup of yours.

One can't be reminded too often of what a long, hard slog this journey can be, nor how hard you have to work to remember to scale things down so that they are not overwhelming. Most especially when you are trying to make some kind of change.

I had to laugh, too, when I remembered the "olden days" when I first began therapy. It was my belief that all I had to do was go, pay the therapist, and I would suddenly, magically begin to get better. What a hard landing it was when I realized I was going to have to do most of the work myself!

Anyway, thanks again for your kind thoughts. It's good to know you're on the path with the rest of us.

Thanks for sharing
(I hadn't heard of that book)
Thanks for your kind thoughts

Well, we learn by experience!

Isn’t that the truth!

The biggest thruth I have ever heard!