[alexflute59]

I'm an 18 year old girl and for a while my life seems to have just changed. It's as if all my relationships and passions have just dimmed and no longer seem exciting to me, however this in recent months has just continued to get worse. I'm in my final year of school and whilst everyone else is planning for uni next year I'm left stuck feeling so uninspired and if my whole world is going to come crashing down. The thought of having to conform to some monotonous job for the next 50 years of my life just fills me with dread and makes me question what the point in living or even trying is. Of course I know you have to work to earn a living but nothing excites me not one single career path appeals to me and I know if into something I strongly dislike I'll just end up spiralling out of control and be in a really bad way. In the past I used to be excited for life in general. I was excited for the future. But now I'm just not. I can't remember the last time I felt anything never mind excitement. The old me has just gone and left this empty shell of a person it's as if I'm seeing life through a screen, like I'm not really here and soon I'll wake up and realise it was all just some bad dream. It literally feels like the colour has slowly been drained from my vision and I'm left staring at a monochrome reality. I feel so lonely and don't think I can continue my life like this. I have no one to talk to because everyone just thinks I'm being overdramatic and can just "snap out of it" but it feels like I'm in some uncontrollable trance. I have no friends that I can truely talk to I'm surrounded by acquaintances but no true friends. I'm just becoming so so exhausted. Every single day it's an effort to even pull myself out of bed I just want to lie there and feel anything but instead I'm just empty. Basically I'm just at a bit of a dead end and am filled with this crippling emptiness. The only feeling I feel is severe anxiety. I just don't know where to go from here and how to help myself so any advice would be appreciated greatly.

I relate to this a lot.

when I was a kid (before my diagnoses), I had high hopes too- that I was going to go to university, I was going to become an engineer of roller coasters, life was going to be good

unfortunately for me it didn't plan out like that, I failed school, I got diagnosed with 3 diffrent disorders, and then told I couldn't work

so none of it worked out how I expected, and the thought of living life like this for the next.. I don't know how many years, is very, very depressing. I hate the thought

I know that's not really advice (more experience), but you're not alone in this. that's the point of my post

[winter4me]

Your feelings are real and you sound depressed given your description---do talk to someone (does your school have a counselor? decent guidance counselor?)---if you have a doctor you feel ok with ask for a referral to a therapist. You need to talk with someone who will take you seriously and will help. This is not a place you need to settle for or remain in for the foreseeable future.
& welcome to PC...check out the resources here and talk.......we will not tell you to snap out of something you cannot snap out of-----(((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))