[nikon]

I haven't posted here for a really long time. My dr decreased one of my meds slightly a few weeks ago because I was very sleepy all the time, and for the past week I've been sliding into depression again. Yesterday and today it's been really intense, many suicidal thoughts and urges, the urge to run away and "disappear" or just a fantasy of willing myself to cease to exist. I spoke to my therapist but she didn't really give me any immediate advice (ie: maybe call your dr/give it more time) (and I didn't directly ask, stupidly). I'm not sure how long to give it until I ask my dr what to do.

Apart from my therapist I don't really have anyone to talk to at the moment. Most of my close friends are currently very involved in their own problems and don't have the capacity to listen to me talking about stuff I'm going through.

[MickeyCheeky]

If you're feeling this bad, My Advice would be to just contact your Doctor and Therapist as soon as you can! Perhaps you need a change in Meds or to return back to your previous Meds based on what you wrote. In any case, definitely contact your Doctor if things keep getting worse. How long until you see your Therapist? I feel like you have every right to ask for some advice and coping skills when you don't feel well. Perhaps contact your Therapist and tell her that you want to make another appointment soon and that you're feeling REALLY bad. Hopefully she'll be able to rearrange her schedule to see you sooner. If that isn't possible, can you hang on for a week or until your see her again? Hopefully it isn't too much time! I know it isn't too much, but we ar ehere for you so please feel free to speak to ANY of us. If you're feeling suicidal, contact a Suicide Prevention Hotline or go to an Hospital near you. In any case, keep hanging on as much as you possibly can! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @nikon, your Family, your Friends, your Doctor, your Therapist, your Social Workers and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!

[nikon]

Thanks very much @MickeyCheeky that was very comforting to hear. I actually saw my therapist today but came away feeling just as despairing. I'm due to see her in a week's time, and my dr only next year in a few months' time. I will probably email my dr tomorrow about this. Thank you for your support

[LilyMop]

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Medications can be really tricky to manage. How frustrating! It’s also hard when it seems like everyone else is too busy. I know that feeling. It’s a very lonely feeling. I’m here if you need to talk. Keep us posted how things work out.

[nikon]

Thanks Lily, I appreciate it. I emailed my dr but he hasn't replied yet.

[Serpentine Leaf]

You have a whole community standing beside you, Nikon. The advice of calling a hotline if it gets really bad is a good one. Please keep us updated, and message anyone.

[nikon]

Originally Posted by Serpentine Leaf

You have a whole community standing beside you, Nikon. The advice of calling a hotline if it gets really bad is a good one. Please keep us updated, and message anyone.

Thanks. I haven't heard back from my psych yet, and things haven't got any better. I'm going to try again tomorrow.

[bpcyclist]

Look, if you need the higher doses to help with the depression piece, you may want to ask the doc about something to help keep you awake. Here in the US, the most commonly used medications are Adderall (dextroamphetamine) and Provigil (modafinil). I have been on both and they both work for me, but I had a SE from the Adderall, so we switched to the Provigil. It works great. Were I not on one of these two meds, I would live in my bed. Sleep my life away. These medication have probably, in all candor, save my life. Just something for you to ponder.

Sending you positive vibes. Stay after that doc. Not sure how healthcare really works in the UK these days, but you absolutely deserve and need a prompt response. Stay on it. Advocate for you!!