[DarkDevil26]

I feel my depression over these last 2 weeks has just gotten so much worse, I have felt physically sick because for 8 long years I have had barely and social life. I have never been in a romantic relationship and I crave to be loved by a girl so badly. I’m 22 years old and I just have no social skills whatsoever. It really hurts and I just don’t feel wanted in this world. I have tried online dating and have had no luck, I can’t talk to people in person great because I’m socially awkward. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m literally laying in bed crying because I just don’t have anyone to hang out with and I crave intimacy and love so badly. I just don’t see it happening for me, as I’m ugly, fat, have zero social skills, no friends, what girl would want a guy like me. The answer is no one. I’ve spent 8 long years working on myself and I have gotten no results. I’m sick of living this way and I increasingly want to die. Life just doesn’t seem worth it without friends or a girlfriend. I just feel so lonely and I hate every second of it. I need friendship. I need to be loved. I need help.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your struggle. Hopefully being here on PC can be of at least some comfort & support. Best wishes...

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing your story. I hope being here will be of comfort and maybe help to you.

[puzzclar]

I'm 32, and single, I haven't had success with online dating either. Life is hard when we want to share our life with others but don't have the skills to do so. I feel like I'm never going to find a guy to marry because of my past and how I currently feel. I feel unlovable. Is that true?? NO. I can't get sucked in by the negative. I am a sex addict, and when I try to find love, I have the constant reminder that no one will love me because of how much I have screwed up! I have tried to make myself better, and I have spent 15 years with depression. I'm tired too!!

I know that life takes work, and so do relationships. My experience is similar to yours, but it is not yours. I am saying I can relate! And maybe that is enough.

For me, I"m afraid of being raped, and I let that influence my actions. I run away from relationships when things get difficult. Typing this has been helpful. I am scared of relationships, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I don't let people in, and that is only harming me. I need to make a goal around healing myself before seeking a relationship. I need to love me in order to love another. Is that the same for you?

[DarkDevil26]

I think so. I find I hate myself in every aspect. I hate my physical appearance and find I can’t do much to change it. I find I hate a lot about myself and it 100% stops me from putting myself out there, but I don’t know how to fix it :/

[downandlonely]

I felt much the same way as you for a while. No friends, no romantic relationship, and I couldn't figure out why. Looking back, I think social awkwardness and a lack of confidence is what it was.

Have you sought professional help. I ask because once I started anti-depressants and was able to come out of my shell and make friends. I know they may not work for everyone, but for me they made a huge difference.

[DarkDevil26]

Yeah I’m in professional help and I’m on a ton of antidepressants, found they haven’t really worked, I’m still afraid of social situations. But yes social awkwardness and confidence do it for me. I want to conquer it and I just can’t seem to do it.

[Iloivar]

Originally Posted by DarkDevil26

Yeah I’m in professional help and I’m on a ton of antidepressants, found they haven’t really worked, I’m still afraid of social situations. But yes social awkwardness and confidence do it for me. I want to conquer it and I just can’t seem to do it.

How long have you been taking these antidepressants? Im by no means knowledgeable about this but I have read from other peoples experiences that it gets worse before it gets better.

But more importantly, I think it's something you should discuss with whoever you're seeing. Psychiatrist, therapist or both.

Now, as for friends, well, what have you tried or used to find friends? From another post I know you tried tinder for dating.

[DarkDevil26]

Originally Posted by Iloivar

How long have you been taking these antidepressants? Im by no means knowledgeable about this but I have read from other peoples experiences that it gets worse before it gets better.

But more importantly, I think it's something you should discuss with whoever you're seeing. Psychiatrist, therapist or both.

Now, as for friends, well, what have you tried or used to find friends? From another post I know you tried tinder for dating.

I’ve been on antidepressants for as long as I can remember, its been easily over a decade experimenting with different kinds. I haven’t really had much luck finding friends or potential romantic partners, nothing has worked, tried a club, didn’t work, I am awkward around the friends I do already have. I’ve had no success with girls. It’s just awful.

[puzzclar]

I recently completed a program that may help to clarify what you want your life to look like. It's called Lifebook. It's looking into twelve areas, 2 a week, and seeing what you want in those areas then taking what you envision into goal setting and action. Or you can get clear on what you want and work for it without the program. But it's a place to start. I won't say it will end all your problems, but it will help provide clarity to what you think and putting it on paper helps.

When I think about social situations, I get anxious. I also know that I have breathing techniques to help me. Sometimes doing the little things helps. I want to encourage you to get to know who you are, apart from the mental distress and find the real you. It will be hard, sorry I won't sugar coat it. But I have been told that recovery isn't linear, it more looks like an upward, forward moving tornado. It's easy to beat oneself up, but is it really helping you in the long run?

[Thirty shades]

Welcome to PC DarkDevil26.

Medication does work for me either. I have Complex PTSD which leads to depression and anxiety.

[Iloivar]

Originally Posted by DarkDevil26

I’ve been on antidepressants for as long as I can remember, its been easily over a decade experimenting with different kinds. I haven’t really had much luck finding friends or potential romantic partners, nothing has worked, tried a club, didn’t work, I am awkward around the friends I do already have. I’ve had no success with girls. It’s just awful.

I see.

Well, have you tried making friends online? Friend apps, online groups/communities etc.

Because as someone who thinks themselves socially awkward, midly anxiety ridden and have never made a single friend by approaching someone irl. I have made most of my friends online, though it wasn't easy, and there was definitely more ghosting and friendly conversations that didn't blossom into anything else than there was successes.

[DarkDevil26]

Originally Posted by Iloivar

I see.

Well, have you tried making friends online? Friend apps, online groups/communities etc.

Because as someone who thinks themselves socially awkward, midly anxiety ridden and have never made a single friend by approaching someone irl. I have made most of my friends online, though it wasn't easy, and there was definitely more ghosting and friendly conversations that didn't blossom into anything else than there was successes.

I have lots of friends online as I am someone who likes to stream and make youtube videos. As a result I've been able to grow an amazing community. But I just feel it isn't enough, I feel I need more face to face interaction. My online interactions/friendships help. But I just feel unfulfilled at times.