[JulieEstelle]

Long story short. We had been together for 5 years. He broke up with me because he want to deal his depression alone and he told me he is unsure his feelings toward me but he still care and i’m still very important to him. What he feels just numb and pressure with everything. He asked me for time and space for him to deal with his depression.

And so, he will start his therapist next week. He said to me, I can reach out to him once a week to check on him but I’m not sure, is it healthy if I reach out to him every once a week? I’m afraid I will put more pressure on him since he is dealing with depression. I just want to support him. I want him to get better.

[Yaowen]

Dear JulieEstelle,

Welcome to the Forums. It is very nice to meet you.

I wish I had some insight that would be helpful to you in the situation you describe. You sound like a very caring and compassionate person. Hopefully others here with more relationship experience and depression experience will see your post and respond to it with things that are truly helpful to you. I hope things work out for the very best for both of you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[AzulOscuro]

Julie, welcome to the forums!!!!!!
I understand your doubts. Sure you are wondering is it the depression itself or there’s more. You can’t know for sure until you get time pass by. Depression is a dark deep hole and your boyfriend surely can’t deal with anything now. Depression consumes all your energy.
I think it’s awesome that you can be by his side and recall him from time to time that he can count with you and you showed lots of compassion by wondering yourself about what’s the best for him and for him not to feel pressure.

Said that, when a prudential time passes by asked him about your relation because you have the right to know if it’s worthy for you to be there. Depressed people are very hard to deal with, I’m one of them and I know it. So, at least, you have the right to know if it’s worthy to fight for him or the best for you is to follow your own path.
You also have to think about yourself.

[MickeyCheeky]

i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters. Just give him some space and contact him about once a week like he explicitly asked. i think that should be Ok, after all he is the one who said that and if he is bothering he can always say so. If you want to be sure you can explicitly ask him if it is ok for you to do that. i Hope and Pray that things will improve soon! Hugs! Sending many safe, warm huygs to BOTH you, @JulieEstelle, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[RoxanneToto]

If that’s what he feels he wants, that probably is the best way you can support him right now. I know it’s hard because you care about him, though.