My ECT journey

Had my 4th session yesterday. I think they missed the vein when administering the anaesthetic, as it spread only in my hand and hurt like a S.O.B. I think they corrected it as I don’t remember the procedure (thankfully).

I think things are improving. My head was feeling pleasantly empty for most of the day, like mindfulness but without doing the meditation

Intriguing description!

5th session this morning. Apparently I was ‘very pale’ after treatment and was kept in the recovery room for a bit longer but i don’t know what this signified. It’s also been noted by staff that 9 times out of 10 people are exhausted after treatment and sleep the rest of the day... this has not been the case for me after any of the treatments and I wonder if it has any correlation to my autism(?)

My mood has taken a dip over the weekend till now and I’m wondering if it has to do with my being taken off the mood stabiliser two weeks back. I’ve become more reclusive and reluctant to come out of my room on the ward.

Had my ward round today and expressed my concern with the drop of mood due to the removal of one of my medications. The consultant wants me to continue as is and to have more ECT sessions past the 6th one tomorrow

So, this definitely means you will receive more ECT sessions?
Did the consultant offer you an explanation?

Yes and no, not really, I was feeling too low at the time to question it. With that said, the ect I was meant to have on Friday was postponed till Monday as the ward had forgotten to complete a weekly covid swab in time. I was royally pissed off at the time but got over it as the weekend progressed

I had ECT 3 years ago and I barely remember it. It has severely affected my memory. It's like all I got all of the side effects and none of the benefits.

I’m very sorry to hear that. I had my 7th session today and thus far it hasn’t effected my cognition or memory. I’m to receive 5 more and then hopefully will be discharged from hospital before Christmas. I’ve already spoken to work and I intend to return the next day... one of those that likes to jump right back on the horse so to speak.

Fingers crossed, I think things are starting to turn positive. I woke this morning feeling ok, a little tinge of anxiety on typing this; though I think this is natural since I’ve had years of things turning to crap. I haven’t self harmed since last weekend and that’s a + in the right direction.

Tomorrow will be a test of the pudding as I’m going out for the day with my wife to a Christmas Market (a hellish experience from an autistic sensory experience) but it will make Justine happy.

So, yes, I’m hopeful that things are starting to fall into place.

That can serve as an objective measure of efficacy. I'm glad to hear it.

I wish you the very best (possible) experience of the Christmas Market!

I think I overstretched myself yesterday. My wife and I had planned to go to a town Christmas market. Problem was, I had a terrible nights sleep and was wide awake from 1:30 am. I put on a brave face and did my best to be social for the in-laws who drove us there (Neither Justine nor I drive) and it was a nice day out... but from an autistic sensory perspective, I was exhausted by the time I got back to the hospital in the evening.

I’ve spent most of today in a daze and my mood has been very low. Not to the point of doing anything stupid... but that’s more down to being without any energy to sustain stupidity. So, hey, perhaps that is a positive to take on board heh.

8th session of ECT tomorrow.

Goodness -- that sounds familiar. That is, it seems to reflect more than a few of my own personal experiences.
It's a weird positive, but I'm inclined to agree.

Wishing you the best from the eighth session.

ECT this morning, banging headache. Been trying to sleep it off but the ward staff keep waking me up to ask me if I’m okay :meh:

Had my 9th session on Thursday. I do think things are getting better. My pre-discharge ward round is on the 17th. I have one more ECT session after that (bringing it to a total of 12) and then I hopefully go home.

Had my 12th session of ECT on Monday and will hopefully be discharged from hospital later today. I will be receiving a few more ECT sessions but as an outpatient. I think overall, it has been beneficial.

Hopefully the following won’t affect me as I stay in my room rather than mingle in the communal area, but the ward has been put on Amber alert as a patient and member of staff have contracted covid. I’m getting my booster jab on Thursday and I had a PCR test earlier today which I hope will show a negative result. Be Sod’s law though should it turn out positive

Last day was a bit of a whirlwind. The ward I was on got hit with covid (10 cases) and became a red alert ward. I tested negative and as I was an informal patient, made the decision to get the hell out of dodge. I've woke up this morning at home and did a lateral flow test and still negative, so looks like I dodged a bullet.

Yay!
Double yay!
Triple yay!

Thank you. Today has been tough, went to work (what the hell was I thinking) and though my colleagues were really happy to see me and took me out for a meal, I had sensory overload. I think I hid it well, but when I got home, I was vomiting and became paranoid that I did in fact have covid after all.

Did another test, and still negative. I think my system must have started to shut down and I went through faux symptoms.

Was pretty much abandoned by outpatient crisis who refused to take me on because I'd come from a covid ward. I'd contacted my psychiatric nurse and she hit the roof over the situation... called me back after she must have complained, to say the crisis team "had had a misunderstanding" and that they will be in contact with me later today (it's 1 am here now). This was after I'd been contacted by an ECT nurse and I broke down saying that I was seriously considering suicide and that on my last day on the ward I'd made an attempt which was stopped by a ward member of staff... she was really supportive and stayed on the phone with me to talk me down.

I've just been a total mess, Sadie (our dog) didn't leave my side this evening till I started coming round, then kept coming upstairs to check on me... it amazes me how perceptive some pets can be.

I'm to have my next ECT session on new years eve.

Sorry if this post seems disjointed.

Sadie knows.
I wouldn't be surprised if, in the long run, Sadie proves better "medicine" than anything the medical establishment can dispense.
Wishing you health and peace.

Thank you chap! Sadie is an old lady now, will be 12 this year and for her breed, 10 and a half is average (chocolate lab, seem to be the shortest-lived of the breed, but that's most likely because they are nuts and massively active compared to golden and black).

I have been feeling a bit better this morning. Crisis team will be supporting me over the Christmas period. Had my booster jab yesterday, so hopefully, that will relieve some of the covid paranoia.

Saw a dental consultant at the hospital to be matter of factly told that most of my teeth are screwed and will require dentures (meh). Will be considering implants as an alternative but that's an expense I'll need to explore and budget for.