[12gaugescrewup]

Well.. i really don't know what to say anymore, i'm only 17 years old life shouldn't be as bad as i've seen it get.. I've been depressed for as long as i can remember, I can't cry anymore, havn't cried for almost 3 years now. I can't even force myself to cry when i'm in this state of mind. I can't laugh at anything that everyone else sees thats funny, I can't see the bright side of anything anymore. I just can't help but to think about the point in life and why it has to be so hard. I've gotten so use to being serverly depressed it's all i know in life anymore, i look at my childhood pictures and realize how happy i was, then i look at myself now and ask myself "what happened?". Last year i thought i would be able to fix my depression up a bit by getting another girlfriend, well... I got one. For a while i was actually starting to get happy again, but guess i'm not suppose to be.. Honestly i don't even know what happy is anymore, all i know is pain.. I can see myself only knowing pain for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore, nobody can help. I've talked to my friends, my parents everyone about my problems and it didn't help a bit. There's been tons of times in my life to where i've just givin up on life, and started living again. For what? I have no clue.. I'm so sick of living... For a second there i had this strong urge to cry but i just couldn't do it, i don't understand why.. I just don't know anymore. =\

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry you are hurting so much. Have you considered seeing a t or someone that can help support you? Maybe having someone trained to talk things through with may help.

BB

[silver_moon]

Hey
I'm only young too (19) and these should be the happiest years of my life... going out with friends, having a laugh and making a fool of myself. But, unfortunately we're in a similar boat I guess.
I'm really depressed and even having a very loving and supporting boyfriend I'm still not happy (doesn't help that he's 270 miles away at university though).

Have you spoken to any councillors/therapists... or are you on any meds?
I've put my foot down on meds... I will not let anyone put me on them again after a bad experience. Plus, I KNOW i can pull myself out of this once I build my confidence up and talk to people my age and once my 'illness' is sorted.
But, sounds to me like that may help you.
Go back to your doc maybe, if you haven't already and explain how you feel. I know some therapists don't help, but you've got to push until you see someone that does.

Best of luck,
molly

[Doh2007]

Are you working or going to school? It might help to stay busy at something. Have you been checked out by a doctor? If you're clinically depressed, the quicker you get help, the less risk there is that you'll get stuck in depression for the rest of your life. Some people wait too long and their recovery is less successful.

[12gaugescrewup]

Hi! thanks for your guys support. Yes, i have been to a doc countless times, been on meds havn't helped a bit, i've been to a therapist hasn't helped. I dropped out of school for the 3rd time about 5 months ago, i couldn't stay focused on school.. I can't hold a job for longer then a week it seems such a waste of time to me. I can't seem to find anything or anyone in life to lift my spirit. Depression has taken the better side of me. i just don't know what to do anymore, a doctor doesn't help, a therapist doesn't help, my family and friends don't help, meds don't even help. =(

[cajun]

12guage, Just wondering when your depression started. Was it a single traumatic event or a lot of things together. I suffer from depression as well. Don't know your story. You can PM me if you don't want to post it. Cajun

[Doh2007]

Yes, depression can sure make it hard to concentrate. The thing is, you need to keep trying to get help. Did you actually see a psychiatrist? My gp prescribed for me, but he couldn't get the right combo. The psychiatrist specializes in getting the right combinations. Ask your therapist for a referral. It could make all the difference. You need to know that it doesn't have to be like this.