[Rose76]

I just came home from the hospital. Doctors tell me I need two major surgeries.

My love and companion of many years died 2 years ago. I have no one else here where I live. I'm up in years and retired.

I learned to deal with losing my love. I was doing okay. But I can't face this disabling health stuff on my own.

Nearest family are 2000 miles away.

I have no pain at all. If I decline the surgical treatments, I might just fade away from this life. (I'm a slow GI bleeder. Blood transfusions are sustaining me.) I look fine. I can move around ok.

I don't want all this medical-hospital-surgical stuff. Needles. I/Vs. Getting cut up. Being stuck in hospital beds. Feeling all kinds of pain. Things can go wrong in and after surgery. Infections.

I think - I could just do nothing . . . and let nature take its course. I know that plan could have pitfalls.

Then, again, maybe I would just heal up. Sometimes problems just stabilize.

Other people get motivated by their love of being alive and by their love of others in their life. I don't love being alive. I don't really belong anywhere or to anyone.

I'm depressed. I don't want any more medical/surgical things done to me.

[unaluna]

Boy, i hear that. About not wanting medical procedures. Totally with you on that. Not interested in pain. I dont want to feel sick. There is literally nobody here who cares if i live or die. All i do is eat, sleep, and poop.

That said, i do try to do things in my daily life to put off pain. Mainly those things involve my diet. I dont drink alcohol, for one. It has never agreed with me. I dont eat bacon or sausage, even though i like it.

So are there any non-surgical ways around your issues? Something that would help heal your insides? Like a crapton of oatmeal and blueberries?

[Rose76]

I have to eat healthy. The doctors said eat high fiber. I'll have to look into what's good for the gut. I used to eat oatmeal a lot, then lost interest in it. I should include it in my diet.

[divine1966]

I am so sorry. Surgeries are no picnic.

I try to eat oatmeal as well. I try to make it more interesting by adding different things every day. Cut banana into it (that adds ton of sweetness), blueberries, cinnamon, blackberries, strawberries, honey, raspberries (too tart but ok with honey). I mean I don’t put them all in at once but alternate, then it’s like a different meal every time.

Also I cook a batch to eat for few days. Keep it in the fridge in a glass container. Warm up a portion in a microwave. I don’t want to bother cooking fresh every day.

[divine1966]

Also I highly recommend buckwheat. Very high in fiber and is very good for you for many other reasons. Very easy to cook. Tastes like heaven. But I understand that unless one grew up in some regions in Europe people just don’t know about it in the US. But it will take one time and you’ll be hooked. Lol Happened to my husband

If there are no ethnic stores by you, you could buy it on Amazon. I could send links to good options.

Why am I up at 4am…smh

[Rose76]

I like oatmeal with maple syrup.

I see a surgeon on Thurs.

I just don't see me going through with this. I've been to the hospital 4 times in 3 months. I don't want anymore of that place. Needles and I/Vs.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I like oatmeal with maple syrup.

I see a surgeon on Thurs.

I just don't see me going through with this. I've been to the hospital 4 times in 3 months. I don't want anymore of that place. Needles and I/Vs.

See what surgeon says, maybe maybe there is alternative. I hope so. Maple syrup …. oh I have never tried it with oatmeal. It sounds good!

[Nammu]

If you don’t do the surgery it sounds like you’ll constantly be in ER and getting blood transfusions. Sure surgery is scary buts when it’s over and done with you will heal and be able to move on with your life. Sounds like you are choosing to stay sick and go in and out of hospitals. That could be depression or low blood talking.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Nammu

If you don’t do the surgery it sounds like you’ll constantly be in ER and getting blood transfusions. Sure surgery is scary buts when it’s over and done with you will heal and be able to move on with your life. Sounds like you are choosing to stay sick and go in and out of hospitals. That could be depression or low blood talking.

What you say is true . . . about how not having surgery could have burdensome, nasty consequences. I think maybe the GI bleed will just simmer down. I had it in 2016, and it slowed way down for a good while. Maybe that could happen again.

[Rose76]

Anxiety and depression over these proposed surgeries plagues me.

Then sometimes it all seems unreal. I say to myself that "Nothing bad is happening to me right now." and I tells myself don't think about it. Just stay in today.

[Rose76]

I am in and out of a bad mental state.

I just called a crisis line. They have licensed clinical counselors.

The counselor said, "I wish I had a magic wand."

I think that's the most smug, condescending, non-empathetic thing that can be said to a person in serious emotional trouble.

I hung up.

[rechu]

I don't know what the solution is in your case. Would getting a second opinion be an option? Of course that would mean another doctor visit and potential tests.

I really just wanted to say I completely understand how you are feeling. After several bad healthcare experiences, I hate having any dealings with the medical establishment. I am fortunately healthy now, but I dread it when I think about future health problems.

[Rose76]

rechu - Thank you. I get my care through a teaching hospital run by a state university. It's real hard getting a referral to one specialist, nevermind two. There should be a way. But I think they all, in this system, just back each other up.

See, in a teaching hospital/university system, you never get just one anything. I went for d