I MUST NOT do what I love

I'm looking for support and advice

My passion is music. I mean, playing an instrument.
Two weeks ago, certain health conditions occured and they prevent me from doing anything what requires actions with my hand. And today, I found out that it is severe and I may not play an instrument ever again...

Playing music is more than hobby for me. It's my passion. I found something within myself with it. Although I never want it to be my professions, it is an inseparatable part of my life.

I've already thought about some alternatives to this hobby, but nothing suits me.

To mention some, changing an instrument won't solve my problem. In addition, I would be able to play like one or two of my favorite songs. And it would lack the energy and feel, so I wouldn't enjoy it. I know that because I play multiple instruments and this has already happened to me before I decided to learn the second one...

Audio engineering lacks the creativity and conection to tones, you don't produce them...

I like writing music, but I must have an instrument in my hand to do that. Besides, I need strong motivation/inspiration to be able to come up with something. And when I had it in the past, I regretted very much that I produced something...

Now, I just feel lost, depressed and don't know what to do...