Season change blues . . . I guess.

I could use some encouragement. Any few words you can spare will be welcomed.

I was doing real well for quite a stretch. Now I'm in a talespin. Nothing bad happened to me. I just ran out of gas.

I miss the summer sunshine and the longer days. I miss even the heat. I miss the sound of the air conditioner. I miss having windows open a lot and letting outside noises in. I miss seeing flowers on my plants. Those seasonal changes seem to be bothering me. I easily get destabilized by any change. It's ridiculous. Those are the only changes I can think of.

So . . . down I went. Dirty dishes piling up in the kitchen. Laundry hitting the ceiling. I stay stuck in the house way too much. Just no interest in doing anything that makes sense.

I know that, with depression, you can't wait till you feel like doing something . . . which might be no time soon. I have to push myself. I'll feel better if I get my place picked up.

I have to start getting my house really clean before it's time to decorate for Christmas. I been thinking that maybe I won't even put up the tree this year. It's big and a lot of trouble. That disinterest makes me feel awful.

I swore I was going to get involved in some activities and groups. But I didn't. I just have been in my own world. So I feel very cut off. It's my own fault.

Does anyone else feel sad when the weather starts to get cold . . . or miss the different daily rhythm of summer and early fall?

For a few years, I've noticed I get real down in mid-November. I usually improve before Christmas. January is absolutely the pits. I hate putting away holiday decorations. I hate for Christmas to be over. So I want to start now getting in a decent mood. I want to enjoy some good time before I have to deal with that January crash.

For days, I've laid around like an invalid. It's getting awful. A lot of the misery is that I just stay too isolated.