my heart, my son

My son shouted at me on Sat. because I was tired and they asked me to babysit. I did call them on the cell alot but I wanted to know when he was going to come home. I know it is partially my fault and we have not spoken since Sat. He is still mad at me and will not apologised to me for shouting and saying mean things. I tried to talk to him today about it and he will not budge. He can't be around me because of all the eggshells he has to walk on. He did not believe my therapist when he went w/me to understand my illness because she was on my side. Now he has found a baby sitter so I won't have to do it. I did tell him that when I stayed real late at night I couldn't take my nightime meds because I don't hear anything and it would kill me if I didn't hear those kids and something happened to them. I am so upset and hurt. His dad left me because of this illness and thats why I don't make any friends. I'm so afraid of rejection. Even my mom and sisters don't understand me. I'm all alone in this world and I'm not sure what to do. what should I do? please someone help me pj56

((((puckyjan56 )))))
I am sorry you are going threw this. No one likes rejection.

Give your son alittle more time and hopefully he will come around.

You maybe able to write him a letter to let him know how you feel.

Know that at pc we all care. We will not turn away..
muffy

(((((puckyjan56))))) Wow, your son sounds very ungrateful, the way it sounds, you should be the one angry. Hopefully your son will see the light soon.

As muffy said, we're here and we care.

(((((((((((( puckyjan )))))))))))))

(((((((((pj56)))))))))))))))))

I hope things will work out between you, don't. It is difficult because many people don't understand the things we go through.

I hope your son comes to understand your illness better. Please know we are here for you. ((((((((((((((((((pj56))))))))))))))))

BB

I'm so sorry that you're suffering. Take good care of yourself. I'm sure your son will come around eventually.

Back from a trip to my therapist, who advised me that my limbic system, responsible for my emotions, was running into my frontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning out my thoughts, and being able to calm or route those thought before they become a screaming match, or keep coming out. I have ad/had, as well as other cognitive issues, and the major depression disorder does not help. I am disabled, and just went to my kid's elementary school to say hi to my daughter. All I got was a wave. So, I went to sign out, and she came, with her face filling with tears, saying, "Are you all right, Mom?", which of course, made me feel guilty, since I know you are not supposed to make your children responsible for your mental state (I read this in a book).

How does that all apply to your situation? Well, I would say, first, take a nap. Second, don't let anger get the best of you; that is giving control over to the other person. No one will truly understand what you are going through, and you have to thank God that that will never occur, otherwise, they would be suffering as you are.

You are being the best mom you can be right now, and he is a grown man with parental responsibilities. You are a grown woman, with the responsibility of taking care of yourself, which means staying on an even keel, emotionally. Keep that in mind. You do your best, and that is all anyone can expect from you. Getting into a screaming match will not convince anyone, and it only hurts you.

Telling him 'no" does not mean you don't love him, and he will stop loving you. He has to be mature to accept that. You are helping him, not hurting him. You are the parent, not the child. I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself, and God Bless you.