morning demons

As you wake up in the morning the demons wait. When you open your eyes you don't remember your problem, for a second. Then the demons fall upon you, as you have your guard low. They shove and pull you around, they throw you in the mud, they kick you in the head and back.
Every cell in your body screams to refuge in sleep! Your head is glued to the pillow. But you know it is just going to be just worse, that you MUST get up, sooner or later. So you do it, with a gigantic effort. Pull yourself up and start walking, eating, washing, talking.
Later, as the day passes by, you'll felle better, the demons will seem to care other businesses. As a last act of the day, you close you eyes with relieve. But in the morning your painfully built, thin armor will have vanished, and the demons will be there.

PS I apologize with those who have insomnia...

yes!

And at night, just before you go to sleep and when you are still feeling pretty good, you make plans for the next day, forgetting the armor will not be there. . .

Yeesh... I have that problem. My big demon is guilt. I always feel guilty for not getting up on time, not doing the laundry, not arriving to work on time, etc. I also get really guilty for the things I do, like sleeping in when I've got something really important to do. Most of the time I deal with this by just doing what I'm supposed to do, and deal with my exhaustion later. This quiets the demons, because they don't have any room to poke fun because I'm actually doing what's right. This gives me a little bit of power. Forcing habits upon myself has made doing what's right easier for me, at least a little. I love taking my Ambien at night, because it's an escape for me from the guilt. If I didnt' take it, I'd be awake all night thinking of the things I should or shouldn't have to do.

If we could tune out the world maybe we could sleep forever. So many times that seems a whole lot better.