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#1
Mar 07, 2008, 01:13 AM
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I have tried to explain to others what it feels like to live in an abusive atmosphere my whole life. First as a child and then as an adult and then as a wife. No one listens People look the other way just like when I was a child.
I am past telling anyone how I feel. I am just numb now. I don't cry. I don't care. I do what I am told and make everyone happy. I am dead except for physically. I am just tired. I don't have the energy for the simplest of things like a shower or clean clothes. If breathing were not automatic I am sure I would have passed by now. I am taking the stupid medicines but they are not helping.More and more I am looking at things as if I am just watching and not a part of the whole picture at all. Its easier and easier to just go off into my mind. It is friendly and safe. I don't have to talk or explain or hurt. Maybe that is the better thing in the end. I don't think I want to be a part of the world anymore anyway. And the saddest part of all of this is that as long as I do all the things I am supposed to do NO ONE will even notice that I am not really there at all. |
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#2
Mar 07, 2008, 08:16 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((((shirley))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that the only outlet you see is withdrawing. That can be such an easy trap to fall into.
I am also sorry you are in an abusive relationship. There are alternatives but I don't know if they work for you. Please stay safe. BB
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#3
Mar 07, 2008, 08:49 AM
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(((((((shirley1221)))))))))))
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#4
Mar 08, 2008, 02:26 AM
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Hey we wont look past you, and least you can come to PC and know you will find many in the same situation and many who love to listen.
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Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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