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#1
Mar 23, 2008, 05:29 PM
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I opened up to my friend, and emailed him about how I was feeling a little suicidal again-his response-'JUST GET OVER YOURSELF!!!'.
:-( What the hell am I supposed to say to that. |
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#2
Mar 23, 2008, 05:31 PM
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<font color="purple">What a jerk! </font>
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#3
Mar 23, 2008, 05:37 PM
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I know...
He's also said things to me like 'eating disorders are just for people who are vain and gluttonous.' WTF. |
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#4
Mar 23, 2008, 06:00 PM
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Some people just don't understand. And probably never will. I wouldn't bother saying anything in return, unless you want to tell him that his dismissal of your feelings is inexcusable in a friend.
Try not to muse on it too much, ok? Our friends, like most people, are only as understanding as they are informed. It might be that he's trying to snap you out of it too. I've had that happen, but it backfires more often than not under the weight of their assumption that I care about their opinion of me more than my own. Which I don't. =) Good luck!
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#5
Mar 23, 2008, 06:38 PM
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say 'good-bye' ? idk Labyssum.... some people cant deal so they think you should.... whatever.... they go hide thier head in the sand doesnt mean you have to... be real... you're ok.. its ok to be the way you are now... you will keep working at it and make progress while those who say 'get over it' .. still wont know how...
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#6
Mar 23, 2008, 06:47 PM
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My Ex used to say that to me all the Time..."just get over it",
"Just Deal with it"...? For me it is definetly taking time... something I have had to work on continuously and probably for the rest of my life.....I agree with nowheretorun on this to.
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#7
Mar 23, 2008, 07:14 PM
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I'd be tempted to say goodbye, because someone that insensitive isn't likely a good friend. I know some of my friends are better than others at dealing with my emotional ups and downs but none of them have ever said that to me.
--splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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#8
Mar 23, 2008, 07:39 PM
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I think a simple "goodbye"
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#9
Mar 23, 2008, 07:49 PM
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  Doesn't sound like a "friend".
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#10
Mar 24, 2008, 03:31 PM
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Its hard, because I've been friends with him for 5 years...
I don't know. I think I will just wait for him to come to his senses and apologise. And if it happens again, I'll end the friendship. He obviously doesn't know me as well as I thought he did. |
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#11
Mar 24, 2008, 03:55 PM
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so long.........who needs a 'friend' like that.
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#12
Mar 24, 2008, 04:14 PM
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I have this problem a lot - assuming one level of friendship when the other person assumed a different (and often much lower) level. Just goes with the "giving, loving person" gig, I guess.
Don't beat yourself up about it - I'm glad you have a plan for what to do if it happens again, but no one should be upset that you cared more than you "should have".
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#13
Mar 24, 2008, 08:18 PM
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i have that problem a lot....i love my friends so so much...and it hurts so much when you realise that your love is not reciprocated anywhere near your level of love...that you love them so much more than they love you...but you can't hold that against them....because they love you as much as they can....sometimes we just have to accept that...and accept that at a certain level they put up a boundary....and if the friendship is really worth all we think and say it is...we will do all we can to stick to that boundary for the sake of friendship...
because if we give up on it just because they don't love us the way we want..we are defying everything we stand for..in loving them selflessly... if a friend tells you to get over it...it's not because they don't care..they just have no concept of how debilitating and painful real depression is...they only see our problems for surface value...not for the way they affect us so deeply... but be careful because some people can trick us into thinking they care...when really they have no empathy at all..and it is just that they are intelligent..smart and articulate..say all the right things...but without empathy...they remain cold to our deep deep depression that is hurting us so much...and that is what we have to be wary of... if he really cares...but just does not understand..you can help him understand..and he will be receptive to that.. but if he is cold and heartless and wants you just to get over it... the friendship is not worth it...because there is no real love that is pure...and the best love is the purest in form.. |
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#14
Mar 24, 2008, 09:36 PM
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I think that sums it up perfectly. You know the crazy thing though? I'll never really stop loving friends as much as I can, even if it causes the occasional heartbreak.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#15
Mar 25, 2008, 03:26 AM
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when i read your posts...it's like reading my mind hehe!!! Ill never stop loving either....i can't....and i guess we just got to be strong in the hard times...and remember our friends love us as much as they can...and they wouldn't be our friends if they didn't love us at all! :-)
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#16
Mar 25, 2008, 07:44 AM
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(((((((( Labyssum ))))))) Sometimes people don't know how to handle it when someone else is distressed. It could be that your friend reacted angrilly towards you because he actually cares. He wouldn't have got angry if he didn't care. And sometimes being angry yourself is the best way to get through a period of distress. If your friend is normally someone that you know cares and is a friend you have had for so long, can you maybe see it from his point of view? Maybe he was at a loss as to what to say, maybe it hurt him to hear you in so much pain. I don't know, I should think you know your friend better than anyone. Take care.
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 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#17
Mar 25, 2008, 08:52 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Labyssum said: I opened up to my friend, and emailed him about how I was feeling a little suicidal again-his response-'JUST GET OVER YOURSELF!!!'. :-( What the hell am I supposed to say to that. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I;ve tried that it didn't work.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#18
Mar 25, 2008, 03:56 PM
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That makes sense. He's really bad with dealing with emotions or anything negative. I don't know...I haven't emailed him back and still haven't heard from him. Whatever. :-(
Thanks for all your replies.*big hugs*. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> pegasus said: (((((((( Labyssum ))))))) Sometimes people don't know how to handle it when someone else is distressed. It could be that your friend reacted angrilly towards you because he actually cares. He wouldn't have got angry if he didn't care. And sometimes being angry yourself is the best way to get through a period of distress. If your friend is normally someone that you know cares and is a friend you have had for so long, can you maybe see it from his point of view? Maybe he was at a loss as to what to say, maybe it hurt him to hear you in so much pain. I don't know, I should think you know your friend better than anyone. Take care. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> |
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#19
Mar 25, 2008, 05:31 PM
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Good for you Labyssum. It warms my heart to see you clearly feeling better. [edit] - my god these icons are ugly. How am I supposed to represent warm happiness with this little yellow freakshow?
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#20
Mar 25, 2008, 05:55 PM
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wow. thats pretty horrible. you finally take a chance and make yourself vulnerable and thats what happens. and he wonders why youre depressed? a lot of people have that view of the world. its the same people who see a homeless guy and say 'go out and get a job!'. im sorry you went through that and im sorry youre feeling suicidal
 i have only said something like that once. in middle school my friend "tried to kill herself" which meant barely skin deep cuts on her wrist. but it was all for attention. because when a kid made fun of her the next day she just yelled "hey! I tried to kill myself last night so stop!" and it obviously wasn't real, it was just to be able to say that she did it. thats the only time i have told someone to get over themselves when they threatened something like that. |
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#21
Mar 25, 2008, 07:31 PM
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this person clearly doesn't understand. I find people who have never suffered the same illnesses as myself don't understand, I have tried giving them information printed off the internet and it helps a little if they are willing to read. Doesn't stop us feeling hurt and rejected though .... Depression is a tough one to understand, I have never had an eating disorder so I can only say I don't understand how you feel over that one .... I truly hope you can stay friends with this person if they are willing to cooperate and try and be more understanding.
sincerely, Pastimes my first post sorry if I've ranted a bit 
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#22
Mar 25, 2008, 07:39 PM
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Welcome, pastimes, and your post was well put. I especially like the part about the person being willing to read. After you've gone through all the trouble of opening up and even printing info out from the internet, I really feel like the ball's in their court, as to whether they want to be receptive. I think a lot of people just think that you want something from them, when that's not really true (though maybe a hug would be nice
 ). I'm a newbie myself, but I'm going to assume it's ok to point out that what you said didn't compare in the slightest to some of the rants you see on here. All of which are welcomed.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#23
Mar 26, 2008, 04:58 PM
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Thanks for your replies.
I got an email from that friend today saying, he hoped I was not mad at him, and that he should be mad at me. WTF? lol. I'm not going to talk to him til he's realised what an ***** he's been. |
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#24
Mar 26, 2008, 06:35 PM
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This clown needs to get over himself.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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