[Asiv]

When I was in the third grade, I was sent to the South wood facility, where they send troubled youth, for having severe depression. Just before that they had prescribed Effexor for me. ..could there be a connection? I didn't have depression before that. And I didn't take effexor for years after that, but the depression never went away. . . more recently, I tried it again. Effexor did not work, it just made me hyper and jittery, but I still felt the same inside. . .This depression has been eating away at me since grade school, and I'm terrified to do anything about it. I certainly don't want to go back to a dreadful place like southwood, but I don't want to be like this any longer. My friends and family don't even know I'm depressed, I hide it very well. They think I'm this happy person that I am not. . . .is there a name for that? hiding everything that you really feel?

[Psychotic_Phil]

You are not alone. Most of the time I hide my true emotions too. I don't have a name for it that applies to everyone, but I call it 'burying the truth inside.'

I take Prozac which we are increasing now from 20 to 30 mg. I'm fourteen. I've been to Children's Hospital four times for two weeks at a time in a year for a few different things, most of which had to do with my moods. That was last year. I almost got sent back there again after I attempted suicide last week. Most people think I was doing it to get attention which it wasn't. I just got over some mood instability. You aren't alone.

What I recommend is finding a competent doctor and a medication that works. Lucky for me, they found one that has helped after the last one Celexa, which made me want to kill myself even more. Also try to do some positive re-enforcement. Is there anything or anyone that makes you feel relevant? Spend more time with or thinking about that person or thing.

Depression is hell. I've had it for two to three years now and I always am a pessimist and have low self opinions, have been for longer than when I was depressed. I constantly think that people hate me when they say they love me besides my family because they are obligated to love me.

Stay strong Asiv. Think about what I suggested and hopefully it will help.

That's all for now. If you need to message me or communicate with me further, do so. I'd be happy to help...

[nightbird]

((((Asv)))) ((((PsyPhil)))




peace and love,
nightbird

Depression is nothing to be ashamed about. Most mental illnesses are related to brain chemistry problems and most can not be changed without the help of medication.

The Effexor did not cause your depression, however, stopping it might have triggered you into a deeper depression.

Is there anyone you can talk with about how you feel? Just because you are depressed does not mean you need to be sent away. Someone at school? a parent?