depression, anger, anxiety, drugs, family

Could post this anywhere. I am doing a mid-life crisis thing where my kids are testing the boundaries and I am left baffled everytime. I stayed home from work today and played June Cleaver. I think that I feel torn because part of the issue with my kids is that they want to be fed and cared for. So do I.

I feel like it would be easier to just shut up and carry on like I always have. I wonder about my lack of energy to post to people here much. I am taking a lot of meds for depression as well as back. I felt whole while I was home alone today with sick daughter. Got a lot done in very little time.

I don't know the point here. Just that I am floundering. I am not enjoying that feeling either.

I need to just be a loving parent who takes care of everyones needs and I will get less grief. I am tired but it is easier.

This makes no sense but it is how it feels inside.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{WW}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know the feeling, Hun.

Just a question... How well do you know YOU? How do you define yourself? Do these definitions really portray the core you, or who you think you "should" be?

It's a ***** when your kids are trying to find themselves, establishing their own character and personality and Mom isn't too sure of what role she plays. Unfortunately, most of us mothers of teens haven't really had the time to figure out who we REALLY are. Stop now and then and ask yourself the question "WHO am I here?"

I may be wrong, but it seems your kids have got a piece of you each and they're all playing tug of war with you! OUCH!

(((((((((((((((((((((WW))))))))))))))))))))

I understand how you are feeling. Although it is easier to just "do it", doing it all isnt whats in our best interest. In the end, we have to remember that we also must take good care of ourself. We must not forget that we need to be taken care of also. I know how demanding the kids can be. There was a long period of time where I had no identity, its was all for hubby and the kids. I dont think that is neccessarily a bad thing, only when you dont take time for yourself.

You should try taking a day off from work and make a day for you. Stay in your jammies all day, eat ice cream in bed and watch tv all day or you can do whatever makes you happy for that day.

I know you have been struggling lately so I wish you peace.


Huggles,


Jen

(((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))))))

Thanks everyone. I do know who ME is. I am the person who likes to work with wool and crate. I am the one who loves the freecycle site. I love critters and I enjoy my friends. Thing is I have 5 people living in this house with me and it get's messy easily. I often am uninterested or too tired to deal with it. I do a few things like a load of laundry and load the dishwasher. Then I expect that other people will see what needs to be done and do it. No,

My son and his dad had a great fight over this stuff and it seems that son's perception is that he does a lot more then we perceive he does. Than he rags about youngest not doing her share. I told him that she does her share, just not the things that are hard for her OCD. AND that she is working on it.

So I feel edgy and uncomfortable when the house is trashed, I hide in my room more. The answer is somewhere in between. Clean and do everything as though they were 4 years old? I just don't want the fights anymore.