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#1
May 12, 2008, 06:57 AM
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of everything ive ever done there was one choice i remember that was very hard to make...
maybe it wasnt even a choice... it was like a running away from one thing to something else... i didnt want to run and i still think the place i ended up at was the right place for everyone afterall... but it was such a hard decision to come to/be pushed into.... it was the recognition of what a wretch i was.. the second ego collapse..... it was one of those that was so painful i still go emotionally fetal when i think about it.... and i still know it was the right thing....... thanks for helping me release this.... you all matter so much 
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#2
May 12, 2008, 07:18 AM
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__________________
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#3
May 12, 2008, 07:19 AM
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((((((((((((((((((nwtr))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#4
May 12, 2008, 07:21 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((nwtr))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
BB
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#5
May 12, 2008, 07:24 AM
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((((BB))))))))
((((fuzzybear))))))) (((((Kathryn)))))))))) you all matter so much, thank you
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#6
May 12, 2008, 12:09 PM
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(((nowheretorun)))))))))))))))))))))
you matter very much |
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#7
May 12, 2008, 01:47 PM
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thank you muffy... i am just trying to clear out some old memories... i know they will never be totally forgotton, but itd be great if i could shine them up a bit... reminds me of the old hidden closet where all the brooms and mops are just kinda tossed into it, the light bulb is burnt out, and no one really wants to look in there.... i'm trying to find a new light bulb...
for the most part it seems to be working.. there are so many things that cant be changed and i accept that.. i can however change the way i perceive the past and that has really helped a lot.... its hard to come to terms with little lives being harmed and knowing you were there then... son was never abused.. we both loved him with all our hearts.. he is still loved completely by us... 18 years and counting... somethings go away harder than others... i would never want him to go away anyway.... (((Adam i love you))))))) no matter who or what you've become, you are and always will be part of me... maybe i couldnt be there to help you grow up all the way, but you are in my thoughts always... i cannot imagine not wanting you despite all the hurt in these years... sorry... its a very hard thing for me.. thank you for patience and understanding all... |
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#8
May 12, 2008, 01:51 PM
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no sorrys ((nowheretorun))
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#9
May 12, 2008, 01:59 PM
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(((muffy)))))) ty
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#10
May 12, 2008, 04:07 PM
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#11
May 12, 2008, 05:36 PM
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thank you mountainstream... i pray that healing is your best friend...
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#12
May 12, 2008, 09:59 PM
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nowheretorun,
in all of this, the heartache, the climb that seems endless, the current of memories that flow, and with your strength and resilience continually emerging ... it's as if life has prepared you for the next stage where you show up prepared and accepting - so you can embrace all the love and beauty waiting there. Life has been preparing you for all that is good. How do I know? You are projecting, Dear Person, your tremendous empathetic soul, and the sound of it speaks to all of us. This is how it resonates with me. bless your heart, sweet peace to you, nightbird
__________________
I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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#13
May 13, 2008, 01:49 AM
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(((((((((((nowheretorun))))))))))
I know i haven't been around a lot as of late, but i'm ALWAYS here should you ever need a shoulder. Feel free to PM anytime.... Sending many huggy people and love 
__________________
The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#14
May 13, 2008, 07:26 AM
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aww ((Jacq))))
thank you for remembering the huggy people, you know how special and important they are.... thats right, where have you been? hope you're doing ok, miss you...((nightbird))) thanks again for your kind words.. i'm not sure i deserve it, but i will take your kind compliments deep into my heart... i think it was someone like you that inspired me to be someone like me.. never lose that shine... you are friend always.. i wish you all Peace and Happiness with your challenges and i pray you all will remember you can make it to the place you want to be and i know it is no easy road getting there, just never give up, always have faith, believe...
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