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Jun 06, 2008 at 07:10 AM
#1
I got up this morning at 4:45 AM like I always do and I wasn't doing that bad.
I was happy the twins turn 6 months old today. I think that lasted for five minutes before I remembered what a failure I am  Then my friend called me at 6-something AM and asked if I wanted to go play hockey with him. And I replied I hadn't gotten the hang of hockey in a wheelchair  And I wasn't feeling up to it. So then my friend replies, "Dude, Vince, is this about your nephew? Get over it already, man, and stop being a sissy and come out and play hockey with us."  Now it's 7:08 AM and I've already caved in and I feel awful. Apparently I'm just a big sissy. I think I need to add that to the list of things I am  I hate myself.  sorry to post again |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: cornwall/united kingdom
Posts: 11,157
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Jun 06, 2008 at 07:54 AM
#2
your friend obviouslay has ever lost someone close to him, i dont think your a sissy for wanting to grief your nephew
you do need to keep going with your life your nephew would of wanted that so maybe not go play hockey but what about watching, getting out of the house even for an hour might be good but tell your friend that yes it might be about your nephew but thats you not him (((((((((((((griffe)))))))))))))))) __________________  No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
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Jun 06, 2008 at 07:56 AM
#3
((Griffe))))))
dont allow others statements or quick summaries of your emotions and experiences to affect you so badly... they havent walked the distance you have in the same shoes as you.. grieving is a long process.. its good if we can move on quickly, like some seem to.. but you are not 'some' .. you are you.. try to hurry yourself along, thats ok maybe, but, someones' passing really is a sacred thing and you are not running from the emotion of it... take your time friend... |
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,416
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Jun 06, 2008 at 09:39 AM
#4
((((((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry that your friend said such a horrible thing to you, please don't listen to him. 
__________________  Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2008
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,296
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Jun 06, 2008 at 10:18 AM
#5
Thats not really a nice thing to say - but you shouldnt take it into heart.
Do you see this friend much? Maybe he just misses you? babyg xXx __________________ ~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
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Q&A Leader
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Here
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Jun 06, 2008 at 11:32 AM
#6
Your friend has obviously never had to deal with grief or what it is like to be in a wheel chair!I happen to think you are a rather wonderful chap trying to deal with many issues all at once. Do what YOU feel you need to do for now. Allow yourself to grieve. And know that there are many people here who think muchly of you. We can't all be wrong if we are all saying you are a good person. Thinking of you (((((((((((((((( Griffe ))))))))))))))))))) 
__________________  Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Jun 06, 2008 at 11:53 AM
#7
(((griffe)))
You are who you are Thats you do not let other ppl say who you should be or how you should feel we are all just ourselfs Take as long as you need to grieve Takes time Be who you are muffy |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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Jun 06, 2008 at 01:54 PM
#8
OUCH!
((((((((((Vince)))))))))))))) Your friend needs a good solid kick. I'm sorry that he's being insensitive. Truthfully, you're not a sissy. People need to take time to grieve, and sometimes it takes longer than some people want - but that's the way it is. It doesn't mean you're a sissy or anything ridiculous like that. It means you have a heart, and lost someone you love very much. __________________ 
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
Posts: 4,025
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Jun 06, 2008 at 02:23 PM
#9
((((( Griffe )))))
Sounds like your friend needs a session out behind the wood shed, but I'm only a frog of little brain. Be happy that the twins turn 6 months old today. Forget your "friend" with the sissy attitude. He obviously needs a course at "Ms.Froggy's Manner School." The hurt and sadness will be around for awhile and although we can't take it away we all care about you. Don't be so hard on yourself. I care __________________  kebs
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2008
Location: Not sure where i live and no one cares anyway
Posts: 1,138
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Jun 06, 2008 at 02:49 PM
#10
((((Griffe))))))
__________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Jun 06, 2008 at 03:08 PM
#11
(((((((((((((( griffe ))))))))))))))
__________________ 
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Jun 06, 2008 at 03:24 PM
#12
<font color="purple"> I think that your friend had good intentions with that comment, but good intentions doesn't make it a good thing. Take your time in grieving, god knows you deserve some time to get your life straightened out after such a rocky period.
As long as at least one person in the world loves you, you are never worthless. And I love you. </font> |
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Jun 06, 2008 at 04:32 PM
#13
people's opinions matter too much to me so i went out to watch them play hockey for a bit. just road hockey. they kept begging me to play and i kept saying no.and i have a manual wheelchair so one of them wheeled me up to the net and he's stronger then me and then they all started taking shots on the net and it's not like i can play goalie with no equipment on and while sitting in a wheelchair one of the pucks hit my side and it hurt.now i'm sitting at home and i feel sad 
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: cornwall/united kingdom
Posts: 11,157
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Jun 06, 2008 at 05:07 PM
#14
again it sounds like your friends are very insensitive to your needs, nothing they do is for you its all about them
start doing for you not them (((((((((((griffe))))))))))))))) __________________ No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
Posts: 4,025
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Jun 06, 2008 at 09:32 PM
#15
I've only just met you but try not to beat yourself up so much. There will always be things that you can no longer do but there are a lot of new opportunities just waiting around the corner for you to discover.
Don't be so hard on yourself. ((((( griffe ))))) __________________ kebs
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Jun 07, 2008 at 12:30 PM
#16
Hard not to be hard on myself. I hold very high standards for myself that I don't hold anyone else to, when I fail I hate myself. Been thinking like that for ages
And I always feel worthless, feel stupid, feel hated, means I am.Had a terrible night last night I want to curl up and fade away. I hate pretending to be alright IRL sometimes.But my friends are pretty much all idiots anyways and hate me. Why do I always have run-ins with such mean people 
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: cornwall/united kingdom
Posts: 11,157
18 112 hugs
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Jun 07, 2008 at 12:49 PM
#17
you have to learn not to be so hard on your self, yes we all hate being failures but your not a failure,
why do you have to pretend your allright irl, if your friends are idiots start mixing in diferant circles ((((((((((((griffe)))))))))))) you are a wonderfull person __________________ No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 381
16 |
Jun 07, 2008 at 12:53 PM
#18
You are NOT A SISSY; it does take time to heal, and you are NOT a failure you have much to give, just give yourself time to heal, you do deserve that time. Don't let people who don't understand how other cope with loss tell you how you should feel.
Here is a link of a card for you to check out and hope it makes you feel a little better. I know how you feel with loss, and I'm still coping with mine. Keep posting anytime!http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/yesterday-tears.php __________________ Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy 
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: a small locked room in my head
Posts: 7,949
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Jun 07, 2008 at 12:56 PM
#19
i think keb said it the best, when she said they ned a session behind the wood shed.
your "friends" didnt care that you didnt want to play.... well with friends like that, who needs enemies. plese keep safe griffe. __________________  lifes a game, i no longer wish to play
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Jun 07, 2008 at 01:52 PM
#20
TY ((( everyone )))
Thanks DOWNINATTACK, I love the card. Just feeling so empty now... scared. I know I should just get rid of my friends but I'm a pushover and I let them walk all over me I don't have the guts to just not see them anymore. I'm not good at making friends, I have enough people hating me, the friends I always seem to make seem to add to that.Getting really scared and feeling really bad now
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