stupid :(

I got up this morning at 4:45 AM like I always do and I wasn't doing that bad.
I was happy the twins turn 6 months old today.
I think that lasted for five minutes before I remembered what a failure I am
Then my friend called me at 6-something AM and asked if I wanted to go play hockey with him.
And I replied I hadn't gotten the hang of hockey in a wheelchair
And I wasn't feeling up to it.
So then my friend replies,
"Dude, Vince, is this about your nephew? Get over it already, man, and stop being a sissy and come out and play hockey with us."

Now it's 7:08 AM and I've already caved in and I feel awful. Apparently I'm just a big sissy.
I think I need to add that to the list of things I am I hate myself.


sorry to post again

your friend obviouslay has ever lost someone close to him, i dont think your a sissy for wanting to grief your nephew

you do need to keep going with your life your nephew would of wanted that
so maybe not go play hockey but what about watching, getting out of the house even for an hour might be good

but tell your friend that yes it might be about your nephew but thats you not him

(((((((((((((griffe))))))))))))))))

((Griffe))))))

dont allow others statements or quick summaries of your emotions and experiences to affect you so badly... they havent walked the distance you have in the same shoes as you..

grieving is a long process.. its good if we can move on quickly, like some seem to.. but you are not 'some' .. you are you.. try to hurry yourself along, thats ok maybe, but, someones' passing really is a sacred thing and you are not running from the emotion of it... take your time friend...

((((((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry that your friend said such a horrible thing to you, please don't listen to him.

Thats not really a nice thing to say - but you shouldnt take it into heart.

Do you see this friend much? Maybe he just misses you?

babyg xXx

Your friend has obviously never had to deal with grief or what it is like to be in a wheel chair!

I happen to think you are a rather wonderful chap trying to deal with many issues all at once. Do what YOU feel you need to do for now. Allow yourself to grieve. And know that there are many people here who think muchly of you. We can't all be wrong if we are all saying you are a good person.

Thinking of you (((((((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))))))))))

(((griffe)))
You are who you are
Thats you
do not let other ppl say who you should be
or how you should feel
we are all just ourselfs
Take as long as you need to grieve
Takes time
Be who you are
muffy

OUCH!

((((((((((Vince)))))))))))))) Your friend needs a good solid kick. I'm sorry that he's being insensitive. Truthfully, you're not a sissy. People need to take time to grieve, and sometimes it takes longer than some people want - but that's the way it is. It doesn't mean you're a sissy or anything ridiculous like that. It means you have a heart, and lost someone you love very much.

((((( Griffe )))))

Sounds like your friend needs a session out behind the wood shed, but I'm only a frog of little brain.

Be happy that the twins turn 6 months old today. Forget your "friend" with the sissy attitude. He obviously needs a course at "Ms.Froggy's Manner School."

The hurt and sadness will be around for awhile and although we can't take it away we all care about you.

Don't be so hard on yourself.
I care

((((Griffe))))))

(((((((((((((( griffe ))))))))))))))

<font color="purple"> I think that your friend had good intentions with that comment, but good intentions doesn't make it a good thing. Take your time in grieving, god knows you deserve some time to get your life straightened out after such a rocky period.

As long as at least one person in the world loves you, you are never worthless.
And I love you.

</font>

people's opinions matter too much to me so i went out to watch them play hockey for a bit. just road hockey. they kept begging me to play and i kept saying no.
and i have a manual wheelchair so one of them wheeled me up to the net and he's stronger then me and then they all started taking shots on the net and it's not like i can play goalie with no equipment on and while sitting in a wheelchair one of the pucks hit my side and it hurt.


now i'm sitting at home and i feel sad

again it sounds like your friends are very insensitive to your needs, nothing they do is for you its all about them

start doing for you not them

(((((((((((griffe)))))))))))))))

I've only just met you but try not to beat yourself up so much. There will always be things that you can no longer do but there are a lot of new opportunities just waiting around the corner for you to discover.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

((((( griffe )))))

Hard not to be hard on myself. I hold very high standards for myself that I don't hold anyone else to, when I fail I hate myself. Been thinking like that for ages And I always feel worthless, feel stupid, feel hated, means I am.

Had a terrible night last night I want to curl up and fade away. I hate pretending to be alright IRL sometimes.
But my friends are pretty much all idiots anyways and hate me. Why do I always have run-ins with such mean people

you have to learn not to be so hard on your self, yes we all hate being failures but your not a failure,

why do you have to pretend your allright irl, if your friends are idiots start mixing in diferant circles

((((((((((((griffe))))))))))))

you are a wonderfull person

You are NOT A SISSY; it does take time to heal, and you are NOT a failure you have much to give, just give yourself time to heal, you do deserve that time. Don't let people who don't understand how other cope with loss tell you how you should feel.

Here is a link of a card for you to check out and hope it makes you feel a little better. I know how you feel with loss, and I'm still coping with mine. Keep posting anytime!

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/yesterday-tears.php

i think keb said it the best, when she said they ned a session behind the wood shed.
your "friends" didnt care that you didnt want to play.... well with friends like that, who needs enemies.
plese keep safe griffe.

TY ((( everyone )))

Thanks DOWNINATTACK, I love the card.

Just feeling so empty now... scared. I know I should just get rid of my friends but I'm a pushover and I let them walk all over me I don't have the guts to just not see them anymore. I'm not good at making friends, I have enough people hating me, the friends I always seem to make seem to add to that.

Getting really scared and feeling really bad now

((((Griffe)))

What a jerk this guy is..he obviously doesn't know the pain of loosing someone.

You are not a sissy..you just lost your nephew who meant alot to you..it is normal to be deppressed after something like that...

Rember that you are not a sissy and you are not a failure..you are a kind and caring person..maybe you could make a list of all the postive things in your life and all the postive things you do to help others.

Take care Griffe

Silver

I see you being so hard on yourself and my heart aches for you. Your brutle past has stolen you future.

As a frog of little brain I have no idea where to tell you to start but the is a way up. There are gifts you have that make you a special person. Finding a way to release your pain and find those gifts. It won't necessarily be easy but well worth the effort.

You're a very special person give yourself a chance.

((((( Griffe )))))

(((((((((((((( griffe )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((Griffe)))))))))))))))))))

Because you have had negative thoughts drilled into you as a child, unfortunately it sticks and y believe the lies and the hurt. But that behavioural pattern can also be undone with positive thought and people like us telling you each day you are worthwhile and you are a lovely person and you are entitled to respect. Keep your good friends close and get rid of the ones who constantly hurt you..... they are not true friends .....

my heart aches for you too, take it easy, please don't give yourself such a hard time and accept this hug i'm giving you ((((((((((((((((((((((9Griffe)))))))))))))))))))))

wish it was a real one sweetie, please take care, Jin xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hi Griffe,

People say things like that because grief hasn't impacted their lives yet or they aren't conscious of where you are with your well-being.
It's great to get up and play hockey, and one day you will, but you were not ready today.

You are taking care of 'vince' business. You are processing the grief.
Whether you realize it or not, you are where you need to be - for the moment. Even painful things must be processed in our lives. That's why we have these emotions, to feel them when necessary.

I agree with xBaby Gx - your friends may miss you. That's all.

When we hurt and are depressed, things have a way of magnifying or blowing out of porportion. It's the combination of depression and lack of support IRL that let's it flare.

Can you get some grief counseling in your area?

peace and love to the 6 month old twins, btw!!!

love and support,
nightbird