[BlackTears]

About an hour or so after my last post, my husband apologized for the fighting and asked me to lay with him for awhile..It was nice we talked and cuddled. Im in such pain and I do realize that everything makes me upset because im so unhappy.. I left my family when I was 16 and never went back..growing up my whole life my family treated me cruel, hurt me emotionally and physically..I am so hurt that my parents treated me this way and to this day when I try to call just to say hello (I have moved a couple hours away to a new state from them) they always seem to busy and dont want to talk to me. I dont understand why my family hates me growing up I was not a bad kid I did not get in trouble (trust me I knew better). When I was 8 yrs old my mother moved us away from my hometown and I never saw my real father again..When I say parents thats my mother and stepfather. I often wondered through the years about my real father, and found him once and he never replied to my letter..I was devastated, its been 18 years since ive seen or heard from my real father..A month ago I located him again and I have located his sister also. I sent them both letters and on sat I got a letter back from his sister. In the letter she says nothing about my father at all, just some memories of me and she told me about his brother my uncle..Once again the letter I sent to him was unanswered.. I just dont understand why he wouldnt want to know me...I dont understand what I did to deserve everything that I have been through....I dont know what to do

[Fuzzybear]

[DOWNINNATICK]

I'm so sorry your family is that way, it's not fair to you at all, maybe you need to break the link to your family for now to heal yourself. As far as your reel father, he maybe going through doubts himself, he may feel he let you down and afraid or feels he doesn't belong in you life and that is why he doesn't answer your letters. He may not understand what he is doing to you now, keep trying but don't get your hopes up, so they won't get hurt.

You don't deserve too be treated that way, some parents are like that. My grandparents were like that with my mom when she was going up and they treat us like we're scrum of the earth, but since my parents deaths, I haven't talked with them or them to me.

Keep faith and do your best that is all you can do, one day at a time and with baby steps. You are special and have a lot to give!

Hugs