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#1
Jul 05, 2008, 06:11 PM
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I said before and all this time that my kids are my life--they are like my life support. Thought of them has kept me going thus far. So without them, I essentially don't exist. Too much more happens in my life and moods and I'm afraid to think what that could mean. I'm getting ideas.
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My life and being formerly homeless 
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#2
Jul 05, 2008, 07:20 PM
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im so sorry your kid said that you
((((((((((((((inkblot))))))))))))))
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#3
Jul 05, 2008, 09:47 PM
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Sorry your kid said that word to you, but maybe she was having a bad day and you were the one she took it out on. Give it a day or two, then try to have a calm conversation with her, and tell her how it made you feel, she most likely didn't mean it and she needs to hear from you how she hurt you. Then you can go on loving her without the hurt attached.
Take care of yourself and do something special for yourself.
__________________
Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy 
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#4
Jul 05, 2008, 10:56 PM
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(((((((((((((( inkblot ))))))))))))))
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#5
Jul 06, 2008, 01:07 AM
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I'm sorry that has happened.
I'll tell you that I have been thru this myself. Both as a kid and from my kid, when the teen years were peeking. It's like a passage we go thru, and they do. They are doing it the wrong way of course, to try and gain respect for their individual wants and needs by acting disrespectful. It can not ever work. They need to learn what we did. That respect is given, and trust is earned by behaviors and responsibility to be reliable and that when they do what they say they will, or are at least expected to, their own self-respect develops. The kid is in that age where - well - you know - we were kids once ourselves. What helped me most, through the challenging times raising my child, was to think of her as perhaps belonging to someone else - in my mind - so I could figure out the best course of action and not over-react or cause more reasons for the division. It worked many times because where I might have yelled, or got carried away, or kicked myself for being a lousy mom, or bought the teen-age b.s., I was able to stay strong because I treated her like the whole person she is who is making bad decisions, do to her attitudes. Took her on a special day one time when we weren't feeling close. Saw a broadway play. Did shopping and lunch. And she had a good time, I saw her attitude melt away. We ended up taking the train home with her head on my shoulder. ((((hugs to you and child)))) See her as the wonderful human being she is, and be honest and forth-right with the problems, in an age appropriate way, and take this time to do one-on-one time, something very special. Seal the deal. Love is worth the extra mile. I am so proud of my adult child today, as she can overcome things, and treat herself well, and she really is someone in this world. Making her dreams come true. That's all we really want. If we hear a few outbursts, and spues along the way, so be it, (as long we keep our end up and guide). May they go as far forward as they can. That's the goal. love, night if this wasn't happening, i might wonder if you were being an effective parent, lol. It goes with the turf. you are doing a wonderful job. Just try new approached now when the family dynamic shifts, we must do so too!
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I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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#6
Jul 06, 2008, 04:02 PM
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I don't really have a relationship with my kids. It's sad--and they obviously think that I am "the bad guy" because of not seeing me. It's been a year and a half since I was last with them for a visit. They don't know the truth so with that and their father, they blame me.
 
__________________
My life and being formerly homeless
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#7
Jul 06, 2008, 06:45 PM
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this will come right when they want to now your side of the story, then they will decide for them selves
__________________
No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#8
Jul 07, 2008, 12:08 AM
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I'm so sorry Inkblot for assuming you were living with them, forgive me....
 I do know one thing, this will all be seen as an 'act of love' on your part one day - as I'm sure it is. Give it time. They will come around. It's happened to my dear friend, and it will happen for you too. Do something nice for yourself! And again, I am so so sorry. Peace and Love, Night   
__________________
I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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#9
Jul 08, 2008, 08:25 PM
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I wish they *lived* with me. I'm homeless. Life is really messed up right now, in a lot of ways.
__________________
My life and being formerly homeless
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#10
Jul 08, 2008, 11:32 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Inky)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
BB
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#11
Jul 09, 2008, 05:34 PM
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(((INKY))). It is very hard on both parties at this time, and your children have a lot of feelings at this time, unfortunately some of the feelings are not very good. It is not your fault that you are in the circumstances that you are in at the moment, and hopefully one day your children will see that you are doing the best that you can do for yourself and them in the long run. I am sorry that you were hurt by the comments made by your children, adn I hope they will thinkk differently sooner than later. Take care. (((INKY))). PM anytime. Soidhonia
__________________
The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#12
Jul 09, 2008, 08:03 PM
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((((((((((((( inky ))))))))))))))
__________________
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