[Hcab_Tep]

Has anyone ever had multiple meaningless sexual and/or emotional affairs to attentuate the anxiety of an impending depression. I have and am having a terrible time kicking the habit, even though I love my wife and am in analysis, seeing a psychiatrist, a depression/bipolar support group, and Sex and Love addicts anonymous (not really what I think I am).... Any suggestions or flagilation for me? Please help.

Me.

[pegasus]

Post deleted by DocJohn

[Perna]

You are probably having a hard time kicking the habit thanks to how we're made; you're addicted to the "feelings" sex and/or affairs gives you like an emotional eater is to how certain foods make one feel better.

http://chemistry.about.com/cs/howthi...k/f/bllove.htm

I would exercise/work out more (kind of like how taking a cold shower can help?) :

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dep...ercise/MH00043

[Sannah]

Hi HCab, I'm getting exhausted just watching you trying to run away from yourself.......

[Hcab_Tep]

Actually, I running inside of myself, and am terrified at what I see. These post are to keep my sanity as I undergo the psychoanalytic scalpel peeling away layer after layer of what I thought was "me" without anesthetic. I am asking for support, pleading for it, in fact.

[missboots]

You know what? If you were mt therapist and didn't know anything about you and worshiped the ground you walk on (Like I do to my therapist) I'd freak out! I know you are human but gosh I thought you would be better at helping yourself. I do not want to be mean but maybe my therapist is more screwed up than me!

[Hcab_Tep]

Thanks for the kind and understanding response-i guess only certain types of people are allowed to ask for help. Why don't you try talking to me before making baseless and hurtful comments.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

((((((((((Hcab_Tep))))))))))

Ouch!

Everyone has the right to ask for and acknowledge the fact they need/want support. I too was feeling just as you are. After a moment of weakness, I posted my educational level and clinical expertise in a post. I too, was eaten alive. Sooooo maybe if a comment hurts, maybe it was just to close to home for comfort. That's how it was for me. Right now we need to focus on the fact we are human beings in need of support and not let our educational/clinical backgrounds get it the way.

There is a lot of really great individuals here that want to support you. Just keep posting on a human level; open, honest and authentic. The support and understanding will just flow.

Hugs and prayers-Angel

[pegasus]

No, Angel, I didn't eat you alive, I just said that I was surprised you were asking a question about self-care, where self-care is the very basis for a good clinician.

[Sannah]

You've got my support Hcab. Please don't be afraid of yourself! It will be okay if you just keep working. Have you considered doing any inner child work? I have seen people on these types of boards who have always disliked themselves, especially as children, because this is when their lives were the toughest (and when the adults in their lives were making them feel the worst about themselves). You cannot take care of yourself if you dislike your inner child. You must love and embrace your inner child and then you will be able to comfort and care for yourself and your fears will be much more conquorable.

[Fuzzybear]

[Hcab_Tep]

Thanks, Sannah, Angel, and Perna. I have gone old school...basically ALMOST traditional psychoanalysis with an object relations focus rather than CBT or anything else because I do know that I have been doing this sort of thing since I was a teenager. The narcissism is falling away day by day, hour by hour...my specialty is aging and stress and ptsd, not depression or addiction.

And that woman's post hurt for two reasons: a) of course it is close to home and b) this is a support group, not a beat down group and I was trying to be open and honest and let everyone in...

I just want to thank you all again...and despite my present apparent craziness, I can be very insiteful and helpful for anyone who asks...

Best,

Peter

[Sannah]

Hey Hcab, I don't know how I missed your post all day! How long have you been doing traditional psychoanalysis?

[Hcab_Tep]

Hi Sannah (and btw, my real name is Peter)...for about three months now. Why do you ask?

[Sannah]

Peter, just my opinion but I feel that there are quicker ways to get better.

[Hcab_Tep]

I certainly agree. But CBT or anything that I had done or tried before was not the answer for this. This is deeply rooted and hard to disentangle from the depression, anxiety, and dysthymia. The maladaptive behaviors have stopped...now it is just getting to the why and the rebuilding...the really hard and really important stop. Rebuilding the ego, as it were.

PSB

[Hcab_Tep]

Did I leave you out of my thank yous? I'm sorry...

Peter

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Hang in here, we're all on the same team. We're all here to support you and each other. This is a great place with great people.
Hugs-Angel

[Hcab_Tep]

The habit is kicked...now it is the rebuilding of ego strength while figuring out what/why I was compelled. And dealing with the depression (mine), the anxiety (mine), and hurt feelings (all around me). Oh, and remembering that there is a good decent caring Peter (me, by the way) underneath all the muck.

PSB

[Angel_of_the_Past]

You have my support.
Angel

[Hcab_Tep]

Thank you, Angel. :*

[Sannah]

How are you today Peter?

[Hcab_Tep]

Good, Sannah. Actually doing some online training for my new job as an online professor of psychology...first time I've been able to concentrate in weeks. How are you, Sannah (and is that your real name--if so, it is so interesting?).

[Sannah]

I am good. Sannah is not my real name. I made it up. So glad that you can concentrate. Do you know what is helping you to concentrate better today?

[Hcab_Tep]

Cutting off the "other women" for good helped a lot...