[CatPin]

Hi - I am new to this board and was diagnosed with depression and PTSD just over a year ago. The cause for most of my current issues is a great deal of abuse and a rape several years ago. I was always good at "functioning" thought it all and have a life now that many think I should be happy with, but once a survior always a survior - almost everything I have now has been gotten by putting my head down and working without every knowing how I was really doing.

So fast forward to now, I am married, have a house, am a mom and am expecting another baby in a few months but still have the depression monkey on my back. The one person who has always been there for me through the different phases of this journey has been my husband, who has always ensured me that I could (excuse the cliche) lean on him when my depression was at it's peak. I have had a real bad time recently and this + my pregnancy has meant that I have been less than fun to be married to. I can feel him pulling away (or rather pushing me away), which is especially hurtful at this point in time. When I try to talk to him about it, he refuses to speak to me and will not make eye contact with me or talk to me unless I initiate the discussion, which I don't do because I am so down. I know that it's difficult for him to deal with this and me, but dealing with him like this only makes things worse on me and us.

Have any of you ever experienced your depression pushing others away like this?

[gimmeice]

Hello catpin, it's nice to meet you. I have experienced something like you are explaining, I actually don't know how my marriage has lasted. Lately when I go through such an episode I just try to connect to my hubby in any way possible, it's a lot of work when you are depressed and it must be extra difficult when you are pregnant and your hormones are already out of wack. I hope things get better for you soon.

[DOWNINNATICK]

Welcome Catpin;

Welcome to the group, sorry to hear you are going through some rough times, I can't say I understand everything your going through, but as far as husbands I understand that. I am permenstal and my hormones are out of wack and add my severe depression my husband is walking on egg shells, but he is there for me and sometimes he pulls away which he thinks he is helping me, thinking I just need a little time alone. Maybe you both could go into therapy? People who don't understand depression can't really help and if you both go he may learn alittle about what you are feeling and can be taught how to help a little more.

Wish you a great pregnancy and that the baby comes fast in delivery.

Cindy

[Perna]

Hi, CatPin, I read your post with interest but felt your husband may have a bit of a problem that isn't "you"? If you say you'll help someone with their depression and then bow out, pull away and don't even talk to them when they ask, that's not You that is causing that, that's their issues getting in the way. I wouldn't put all the blame on you! Maybe you and your husband should consider a little work together with a therapist, at least through your pregnancy? Practice communication?