[reddevil]

I wish I could back to about 8 months ago..

Right now makes me want to curl up in a very very small ball and not do very much..

exams, surgery, being single, mood swings.. it's all scary

[thunderbear]

reddevil, hate to hear that. But I hope everything goes well for you.

[nightbird]

You know what helps me, Dear Person?
I take on a little at a time. One step at time.

Like eating a pie, I take a slice and deal with that.
When I have too much on my plate, it can get overwhelming, and that is when things start to get out-of-control for me, and my anxiety level might hit the roof (or fan, if others are around me), and well, we all know about how paralyzing the fear and sadness can be.

So, I take on a days supply of challenges, and this way, I can live in the moment, which helps my anxiety and fear so much, I wish it for you too, and everyone.

Living in the moment is a good answer for what is on your plate, I feel.

You have the big picture, of course, but you live with the things you are doing now ... not next week, next year. We did not get there yet. We know what we would like it to be, so we release that to happen, and focus our attention on what we are doing this minute, in this day.

About the things of the past, well, what did it teach us ... it helps me not keep looking back that often (especially the painful emotions) unless it comes up, then I acknowledge and release it as soon as possible, because I am going the other way!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Does it sound like something that can help you, as it has me?

Peace and Support,
night

You'll get through it... hang in there.
xoxoxo

[silver_moon]

I often wish to turn time back, but it's something that none of us can do unfortunately (((((reddevil))))). But, that doesn't mean we can't wish for the future. I know me saying this is easy and actually doing it is hard, but try to think of what you want out of life, who do you aspire to be? What have you always wanted to do? (maybe write these things down or find pictures of these things and make a collage?... put it somewhere where'll you'll often see it... it may give you the strength to push for those things?)

((((reddevil)))) take care

[reddevil]

Thanks for the support all of you.

Nightbird, I think I could do with learning that.

Supermansgirlfriend.. I really like to get a degree in psychology.. but that seems so far away.

[Einna]

many hugs to you,
Einna

[nightbird]

good!

there are lots of books with useful instructions to practice being in the moment, as well as mindfulness, presence of mind, meditation, self-awareness...zen.

the dvd's and book I love to start with are of course, anything to do with Bellaruth Naperstak ... her cd's on reducing stress, and facing surgery, to name a few, are priceless really.

check her out at amazon if you like ... I highly recommend her to everyone going thru things where innerwork and a perspective change is needed. she uses both visualizations (guided imagery) and affirmations with the gentlest music in the background. lots of help there to reduce the noise in our brains and emotions ... (her chemo and rad. tapes saved me from serious nausea, etc., and what helped me face my present illness, fighting cancer, is off-the-hook great!) she has applied her skills to helping reduce negative effects to a variety of difficulties, as you will see.

~

the book titled 'The Miracle of Mindfulness' written by a Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, had been around since 1975, and it's still the go to book for me because of it's simplistic beauty - in it's umpteenth printing, btw, lol.

the simple stories in this masterful little book will stay with you, and you can re-read it over and over and see something bright and valuable with every re-read.

it's on my desk, lol, that's how I got the spelling right!

Martin Luther King, Jr.'s review of the book said, that "Thich Nhat Hanh's ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity."

so, you can just imagine from that what a help these simple, yet masterful lessons are to us, as individuals.

there are many other books from knowledgeable authors also, who handle the subject from many different perspectives.

you are sure to find the right technique for yourself - like any exercise you do physically, you do what you can handle that is a challenge at first but also is within your desire to do for the duration and the outcome, same with mental exercises, I feel, it works the same way (just avoid the writers who exploit, imo, they are out there). you'll know who you want to read by the quality of the substance, rather than the cover, for sure.

at this moment, that is what I have to say on the subject, lol.

peace and love, and relaxation for less stress,
night

xoxoxoxox

[LouisaLLP]

Sometimes taking care of the small problems makes the big stuff fall into line.

I read this once in a novel years ago and it just struck a chord with me.

You might find that you can do one small thing and that is good enough. Eh?

[mary39]

you can get through it, just be strong.
- good luck

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( reddevil )))))))))))))))

[reddevil]

Thank you everyone.

Nightbird.. that book by the vietnamese monk sounds really good. I'd get the other ones as well, but I have limited funds because I'm a poor student right now.

[Blue93]

that sure is scary.. then again isn't change always at least somewhat scary?
You'll be fine.... and you have us.. even though we can't listen to you and give you hugs in 'real life'... We can listen and try to be there for you
((((((((((((reddevil))))))))))
Like u always try to be there for me and many other members
Take care,

Blue

[reddevil]

Thank you blue.

you don't listen as such.. but people here understand so much better than most people.

[Blue93]

yeah agreed...
unfortunately probably cause everyone on here has been trough more crap then the regular person...

[reddevil]

Yeah.. pretty much.

Ever get the feeling that 'normal' people are just gonna end holding no interest for you at all.. like 'well.. you're not gonna get me, and I'm gonna think your problems are so trivial.. that well.. how on earth are we gonna be able to connect on any level at all?'

[Blue93]

yeah like they only have a small amount of patience with you and your problems...
Then everything has to be ok again and fun and stuff
or it gets to hard and they lose patience and move on
like the things that are important to you are so different then those people your age are busy with?
definitely..

[reddevil]

Yep.

I'm lucky.. I have two close friends who have have/currently have severe depression, so I can talk to them.

Everyone thinks SI is 'emo', thinks I'll 'grow out of it'.. that I'm not that unwell and that they are like so totally so much worse etc.

A lot of times as well.. if the person I'm talking to hasn't experienced it, then to get them to understand something there's a lot of 'background' explaining.. and they either don't get that. or once that's done, they think they've done what was needed and now you're ok.

I do love normal people lol..

[nightbird]

(((((((((((((hugs to both red and blue))))))))))))))))

true ... we are feared, or misunderstood. not our fault.

don't you love those comments by some high and mighties that say 'some people have real problems!' ... doh!!!!

some times people take my breath away!

then every now and again, a true sweet heart emerges and we make friends ... no judgments, just understanding and friendship!

I wish this for us all now, to cultivate another friend IRL...

I'm thinking ahead, the holidays are coming, soon enough, and we will probably fare better if we are involved with helping another, or moving towards including ourselves in some activity where we will feel better at a time that many don't fare too well.

Anyway, just thoughts, don't mean to derail.

BTW, Red, that book is at the library as well as others.... there are some cool books there right now! The summer readers are back in the grind, so lots of books are available!

xoxo

Peace and support,
night


xoxoxoxo

[reddevil]

Originally Posted by nightbird

don't you love those comments by some high and mighties that say 'some people have real problems!' ... doh!!!!

some times people take my breath away!

Like my mum. She always tells me to 'put things in perspective'. Leaves me feeling invalidated everytime.

[Einna]

Perspective? Like whose? Yeah, I know, I know... but it's kinda comical when people say that. Almost makes you want to smile sweetly and say, "...and whose perspective might that be? Mine's doin' fine and yours?". Sorry... it's kinda like that "it's over there" do you know how many over there's there are? {{{{{{{{{us }}}}}}}}
Einna

[nightbird]

so true ...

jump through another hoop, why don't you? then another ... then another, maybe you will get it then ...HA!

lol

oh, I'd rather be me, thank you very much!

hey, that's a good affirmation! I won't dissect it! lol

peace,
night