[bren]

Here it is New Years day, and the world is celebrating the arrival of 2005, and I am sitting here feeling like crap again. I thought I was doing really well, feeling great through Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then it happened. At midnight last night, while at work, I went to give my hubby a New Years Kiss (We were on break.) He bit my fricken head off, and would not talk to me all night. Hmmm what did I do????? NOTHING! Nadda! Zero! Zip! I did not do a damn thing to him, except try to kiss him.
He is the supervisor of the maintanance team, and apparently the guys were jerking around last night and not doing their work. Who gets the brunt of my hubby's anger? ME! Not the ones he is really angry with, but Me. I was so upset with him, I let him have it right there in the brake room. Unfortunately letting him know how I felt, did not make the feelings of insecurity and depression stay away. Before long, my brain told me that I was not loved any more, and that it was all my fault. I spent the rest of my night avoiding any conversation that was not a must, with anybody, and secluding myself. Funny that before is crappy attitude for me, my friend J.B. and I were the life of the party, laughing and joking, and trying to make the best of the fact that we had to work instead of party.

Also yesterday, I found out that we are being sued for not paying a bill that we knew nothing about. My step-son had to go to the cardiologist when he was in high school. The bills for this have always gone to his mother, Not us. She did not bother to tell us that she was getting a bill from them, so we assumed that the insurance paid the entire bill. WRONG!! Now the good part. Why am I on the suit? I am not his mother!!! She wouldn't even sign something to allow me to bring him to the doctor and legally sign for his treatment. Shouldn't it be her fricken name on the law suit? It is all taken care of, as we called the lawyer right away, and paid the entire thing, but My deal is this...
This went from the Dr.'s office, to the lawyer's office, to the county building, to our county building (diff. county), where I have ooddddddddles of aquaintances, to the sheriff's office, and then to us via a deputy sheriff, who just happens to live around the corner from where I grew up. All these people have seen my name on this stupid mess, and I am sure all have formed some oppinion about the entire thing. I AM NOT THE MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BILLS THAT ARE ACCRUED BY HIS KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My name is mud, and none of the above will ever know that it is not my fault. I can not carry them on my insurance, they can not put a lean on my income for any reason, I can not claim them on my taxes. I am an extra appendage. They want money, I can do that. They want Christmas and Birthday stuff, I can do that too. I get to visit them when they are in the hospital, but my name appears on nothing that has to do with gardian/. SO WHY AM I GETTING SUED??????????

The funny thing is, although my name was on it, it was thier Mother's address on it. The only reason the Deputy even came to our house, was because he knows both of us and knew where we lived. Other wise, he would still be looking for us out in BFE!

I am so upset right now, I have slept for a wopping three hours and woke up enraged...again. ARRRRRRR! If this is the sign of a new year, than forget it, I am staying in 2004