Bottom Line

The bottom line is im going to be like this for the rest of damn life!

((((((((((biggest, longest, warmest hug full of loads of love and care))))))))))))

You start at the bottom and build up.

Umm... well, you don't actually know that, you can't predict the future but you can make changes to help things along.

(((((((( purplebutterfly ))))))))

Nothing feels like its changing- i try every day believe me i dont want to get out of bed take a shower or leave the house but i do- and im just ready to say the hell with it and just lay in bed -maybe i will disappear and no one will notice

((((( purplebutterfly )))))

I had years of not being able to get out of the house. I had severe depression and at that time felt that nothing would change. But therapy helped me and now I help other people. Hang on my friend.

Hmm, I think someone would notice--especially the no shower part...even if you disappear, you would still smell! Seriously, kudos to you for getting up and functioning, as it is. Staying in bed and saying the heck with all of it is the easy thing to do. We are women, hear us roar---we don't take the easy way. (sorry men, here's one for you: no man is an island unto himself--get out of bed and accept help). Point is, as the astronauts said "failure is not an option"...."disappearing is not an option." You have a life, and it may not be perfect now, but you're on the path to making it your own and making it better. Unfortunately, no invisibility cloak is available to us mere mortals. But you aren't living this life alone.

((((((((((((( purplebutterfly ))))))))))))))))))
Things can get better, you are doing a good job trying, changes will come in time. Life is a long journey that you have to take one step at a time, some steps are easier than others, I hope your journey improves soon.

yes, people would notice.

you have heard the saying - fake it till you make it!

you are doing that by taking care of the basics everyday ...
one day, it will be effortless, and you will do more things ....
one day, shortly thereafter, you will no longer walk with heartache, but confidence instead...

you can fake it till you make it! (just be honest with your T and DR's and stuff, and your feelings ... with those you trust, the fakin comin in about going thru the motions)

Love always,
Night

((purple)))) let it come... gently pry your fingers loose from the side of the volcano and slowly let yourself slide down into the carpeted forest beneath you... butterflys can be happier there, away from all the heat and choking flames... butterflys do much better in moist, soft, warm, and kind climates.. let yourself make a place of safety in your thoughts.. many times you stuck your head out the window before and felt an icy cold.. not this time... this time you have the best of the best here at PC to help you.. you can and you will do something for yourself in time.. begin to feel kindness as you start to break away from the past.. the kindness can stay with you always if you let it.... you can be one of the ones who never give up if you choose it.. sending you caring thoughts and prayers..