[LoneRose]

I constantly doubt myself and i hate it. Its like i am 2 different people sometimes. When i am down i feel so lousy, hopeless, tired, sad, ugly and with no hope for the future. When i am like that i really want to talk to my therapist. Then i wake up feeling good and then i instantly doubt myself. I think i am just making it all up and feel embarassed about having felt down and wanting help.. I then don´t want any help at all. It is so frustrating, especially as it happens from day to day. I just can´t take it anymore. Why can´t i just feel "normal" and lead a "normal" life. Get a job and do what other people do? I am sick of being stuck in life and not be able to get started with something.. If only i didn´t get bored so fast, and if only i could concentrate, maybe then i could focus...?
Ohh i think i am getting a bit depressed again now. I was feeling ok but talking about it always brings me down.

I AM SO SICK OF IT!!!!

Sorry..

[pegasus]

I know what it is like to be feeling stuck, but what is 'normal' anyway?

We can all do the 'if onlys' you can only do what you can do ya know! I'm glad you have a T to talk to, and we are here also to support and listen.

(((((((( LoneRose )))))))

[LoneRose]

Thanks

I guess its just because i have been in and out of educations, schools and jobs and never stayed for very long. Either because i got bored or scared.. I am now 30 and i am a full time mother. I really wish that i could start doing something cause i absolutely hate having to rely on my husbands money. I want to be independent and i want to succeed in what i love (photography) but it just doesn´t happen.. Everybody tells me they like my work, but somehow i just CAN´T get started.. I get all these ideas sometimes but then soon crash and loose hope. Too many days of up and down to be able to stay on a project i think.

[turquoisesea]

I think I know what you mean, in that when you feel up again, you think you can handle things... but then you go back down and nothing seems managable. It kind of keeps you from searching for help while you are able to... icky.

Don't be embarrassed for the way you feel. Lots of people feel the same way you do. There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
don't be afraid to admit what you've been feeling and find help while you're up. The way you feel when you're down is not rational... so of course it seems silly. But that doesn't make it any less real.

*hugs* I hope you feel better.

[nowheretorun]

doubts have purpose but too much of them causes us to never move out of our place... spending too much time thinking about our problems does have an influence on our mood and if we become habitual about focusing on all thats wrong, we can easily allow ourselves to become overwhelmed... take some time each day, even if only a few minutes, and appreciate something which is completely out of your own control.. let yourself be mystified at its beauty and shape, form and existence.. its there, always been there, and maybe its been overlooked...

[LoneRose]

Ahh my son has that effect on me everyday. he keeps me going

[stefano]

Oh yes, that is how it happens! You feel bad, then you feel good (better) and ashamed for feeling bad

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by nowheretorun

doubts have purpose but too much of them causes us to never move out of our place... spending too much time thinking about our problems does have an influence on our mood and if we become habitual about focusing on all thats wrong, we can easily allow ourselves to become overwhelmed... take some time each day, even if only a few minutes, and appreciate something which is completely out of your own control.. let yourself be mystified at its beauty and shape, form and existence.. its there, always been there, and maybe its been overlooked...