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#1
Dec 13, 2008, 07:49 AM
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I can't I can't I can't.
I'm still falling down that big black hole and I'm so far from the top I don't think I'll ever get out. There's nothing to hold on to. Down here I'm alone, without hope, without light, without anything. There's nothing that can help me reach the top, but there's also nothing I can do to stop me falling... I reach my arms out to the walls... nothing...
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#2
Dec 13, 2008, 07:55 AM
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((((((((((((( molly ))))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you are struggling, the time will come where there will be light, things will get better hang in there. Remember we are here for you. 
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
 silver_moon
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#3
Dec 13, 2008, 09:15 AM
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((((((((((((((Molly)))))))))))))) I wish you could see the light in you that we all can. The ability and the desire and hope. When do you see the counsellor that you had to fill out the paperwork for? As hard as it is, when you feel this low you have to ask yourself, "am I doing all I can for myself?" and "is what I am doing good for me?". Try making a list of all the positive things in your life; when we feel this low it's hard to remember that there are positives. The list which ones of those positives can help you stop the falling. Are you still going to--what was it, a table-tennis social group? If not, why? That is something that will help you stop the fall. What about the classes and the little kids? The more you are involved the better you will feel and you can stop yourself and say, "is how I'm reacting to my feelings good for me? is it good for the people around me?" Most important is you, but when you take care of you, the littles will notice. You are a role model to them--you have no idea which ones will remember you years from now, but count on it that at least 1 one and that means you are important.
Last night I was sitting on the couch, my normal "i hate life, my life sucks, i'm alone and a loser" time of night and add to it that it was my birthday and the only phone calls I got were from my mom and dad and sister. Normally I'll get a call from a friend who lives in Seattle, WA, I've known him for 18 years--no call from even him. I was sitting there thinking what a loser I am...no one to go out with, no friends, blah blah blah poor me. Crying. I had to go tuck Tori in (thank God she's 16 and still likes to be tucked in) but before I went I took a deep breath and thought, "sitting here crying is not doing me anygood. Friends aren't going to pop out of the woodwork because I'm lonely, a wonderfully nice guy isn't going to knock on the door because I'm sad, my tears and boo-hoo me isn't helping the girls in any way. Stop it." It took some more deep breaths and some gentler self-talk, but it worked. For me. I get sick of feeling like this, but I'm also not doing anything to change it. I'm not actively seeking companionship of any kind--relationship or friendship. The money issues that have me down I cannot change right now. The overwhelming sadness is a thought that I suck--and I don't. I guess what I'm trying to say sweety, is if you want to stop the fall, don't just reach your hands to the wall...dig your nails in, make a ledge to grab onto. I know you know how important you are here, but I also know the importance of having real life friends and help. You are so young, you're whole life is ahead of you, you have options and opportunities. Reach for them, and if simply reaching isn't enough, step towards them, run at them if you have to. Don't stop going the places you already go because you feel sad...go to them and let the joy of others infuse you. The more you isolate yourself because you feel bad, the worse you will feel and it will be a viscious circle.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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| silver_moon, Tumnus
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#4
Dec 13, 2008, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
I do think that your situation would improve greatly if you could get away from the abusive family that you are in. I realize it would be a huge step for you to get away and might take some planning but changing your environment would certainly help your mental health. Please look into all options to change things. There is help out there for you. In the meantime, know that you are coping to the best of your ability. Keep posting. Hugs (((((((( silver moon )))))))))) 
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
| silver_moon
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#5
Dec 13, 2008, 05:13 PM
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((((silver_moon))))
__________________
 I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
| silver_moon
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#6
Dec 13, 2008, 05:49 PM
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Hey Moon;
You are not alone in the dark hole, I'm there with you trying to reach out to you so we can help each other to the top. I have a flashlight to share with you as well and a shoulder to lean on. You can do it moon, it just takes time and there are many here that will support you and listen anytime you need it. Hold on tight, there is a rope to pull us up coming, just keep looking and telling yourself, I am worth it, I can hold on, I am special and I have so much to give. Hugs Cindy
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Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy 
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| silver_moon
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#7
Dec 13, 2008, 07:15 PM
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__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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| silver_moon
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#8
Dec 14, 2008, 08:19 AM
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I can't do it...
 I hurt and it won't stop. I wish I had someone in my life... I wish I could open up... I wish I could afford to move out... I wish I had friends... I wish I could take my own advice... I wish I didn't give that advice 'cause I think of it now and it doesn't work... I'm giving everyone else and myself false hope. I want today to end, I want it all to end.
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#9
Dec 14, 2008, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
 PIRATES!! ARR! Where be the rum matey?! Oh waits we be underage <.< >.> Now what? I want me gold doubloons! T.T. -------------------------------------------------------------- Everything is gonna be alright Everything is gonna be alright Everything is gonna be alright Be strong believe Be strong believe - Yellowcard
__________________
“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron |
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#10
Dec 14, 2008, 12:11 PM
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Quote:
 you made me smile for quite a while... thank you for that unfortunately everything's just been overwhelming me today and I still feel like the whole worlds crashed down on me... so alone
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#11
Dec 14, 2008, 12:16 PM
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 When the world crashes in on you, honey, here's a shovel to help dig you out. Take one thing at a time, hon. Are you still doing yoga? Do something to help clear your mind then focus on one thing at a time.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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| silver_moon
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