Not doing well...

Beside me is the mail... the mail includes an eviction notice and a power disconnect final notice. My car has a square tire (bald in weird way) and about 1/10th tank of gas. I have no money, negative money actually since my accounts are overdrawn. I have no job. I have no place to go. I have no one to help... a friend tried to help, western unioned me $500 but somehow the transaction got messed up... the money came out of his account but was cancelled in their system so it will be 6 days before he gets that refunded. This place goes dark in 3 days...

The reasons don't even matter anymore... I know a lot of people are a lot worse but this hurts. I'm going to spend Christmas in a broken car with my cats at the pier. I'm going to spend my 30th birthday homeless. I feel like my childhood has reclaimed me... I fought so hard to get out of poverty, abuse, and misery... I did all the "right" things... I put myself through school and ended up with 3 degrees including a new grad degree just last week... I volunteer my time ALL the time...

I just got back from dropping off some donations... I took responsibility for 8 kids this winter and managed to get bikes, helmets, and toys/clothes for them all just by going to people I know and asking for help... and I can't even ask for help for myself... well, I did ask my sister, she ltierally laughed... and the parents moan about how they aren't able... how quickly they forget that the sacrifices I made to help them over the last year is the main reason I'm in this situation right now... I helped them keep their homes and in the process, I lost mine...

I guess I need to go pack. I'm going to cry a little first, I need to cry. I didn't think I'd be going through this at 30... this just validates every horrible thing my family ever said to me. They are right... I tried to fit in out there in the real world... and look where it got me... I'm crying to strangers via stolen neighbor-internet...

Thanks for listening, happy holidays.

((((((((((((((( ScaredSad ))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you are going through this, is there any emergency help that you can sign up for that could maybe help with housing and that sort of thing. I believe that food stamps has a program that provides money and food money and if you have less then $100 to your name then they have to either accept of deny you very quickly, I don't remember how long it takes but it is quick. I am sending you loads of hugs.
Your family was not right about you, you are trying and still managing to help others in the process.

"ice' had a good thought but you will need a mailing address. have you got a friend's you could use? also churches are great about helping those in need for food, etc. in the yellow pages look up food banks, etc. too. many churches are listed there. it doesn't matter your faith. it's intended to help people like you (and me at one time altho i had a roof over my head).
i hope you can get back on the web to check in with pc. i'll be praying for you.

yes, my church does that too, though i think they're out of funds right now... it's a difficult time. but there's help out there... there's community resources available.
(((scaredsad)))

I don't know where you live, but there must be a local welfare office near you, or a homeless prevention place near, or something, anything....

Make some calls, go out and get to an office and fill out the form and maybe, just maybe, this can turn your situation around, in the sense - it's a start.

These are bad times, for alot of people... so the charities, like the catholic charities and salvation army, etc., can help.

Some may pay this bill, another one - the other, so you can get on your feet... but you have to move on it.

Best of luck to you ~

I know things will get better....

Peace and comfort,
night

xoxo

Thank you guys... but I'm doing worse. If yesterday was "not well" today is nuclear devastation.

I can't function, nightmares, vivid and horrible nightmares, I had a nightmare that someone had ripped off my dog's tail and I picked it up and he was crying and I had to carry both halves of him to the vet. Nightmare that my father was covered in blood with horrible open wounds. Nightmares every time I closed my eyes...

As for the help, I've been getting assistance and they are tapped out. I don't fall into the category of need. My needs were too much for them to handle. I live in a 1400 sq ft home so my heating/power bills were 2x as much as they could pay and my rent was about 4x what they normally can cover.

I don't have children so I don't qualify for family assistance either... and that's fine, I know other people need it more. I don't have any bad feelings about them... I am, however, furious with my state's employment security commission. I have been out of work through no fault of my own since April. I have sent out 200 resumes (more probably) and been on dozens of interviews. The only offers I get are out of this area and I have no money to move or even buy a tire to leave this small area.

I have spent countless cell phone minutes and gas money to try and get my claim settled but they keep "losing" the paperwork by their own admission. I'm sick to my stomach. I am angry. It would have been fine if tehy turned me down in the beginning but I've heard NOTHING at all ... and there's no one to even complain to...

So, I'm lying here completely paralyzed with fear... completely. Not sure how to move... I only have 48 more hours of power (the past due is 279 so even if people did have funds left, they couldn't cover it all)... I can't breathe, this sucks

thanks for letting me vent

sc.sad, i don't know if you can save yourself from eviction so at present the situation calls for you to find a temporary place to stay. do u have friends nearby? have you checked with shelters?
i know that a job would help immensely for you. perhaps at least for a short duration, would any type of job be better than none? it sounds like you need some momentum in a positive direction just to hang in there for now. if you can't pay the bills, you can't pay. when you get back on your feet that will be the time to worry about that. for now as i see it, you need a roof over your head ASAP and some money for food, etc. keep knocking on those doors for help. keep us posted on how you're doing too.