[turquoisesea]

I've been home almost one full day now.

I don't think I can do this. I'm already losing myself. I don't know what to do with myself. I spent and hour or two today just staring into space. Most of the rest I spent sleeping.

I had dinner and some cake. I played with my cat. That's about it.
And I don't want to do anything else.
I barely want to talk to my bf anymore. Is there a point to?
I'm going to be gone by the time we see eachother next time anyway

nothing to do
what do I do
I'm gone x.x

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

I don't know what to do with myself. I spent and hour or two today just staring into space. Most of the rest I spent sleeping.

Do you write? Aside from PC, that is.
I just ask because it's gotta be more entertaining than staring into space. Sleep might not be such a bad thing. And playing with your cat is definitely a good thing. I just wonder if you can hold onto yourself by writing out what's going on in your head.

I'm glad you got a chance to drop in...

[IsLifeWorthLiving?]

Hang in there! search for distractions.

Sending you tons of love and hugs!!!!!!!!!!

[sadly_me]

kitty cats are a good thing!!! i bet your cat really really liked that you played with him/her!! i have two dogs that i love to talk to and watch and interact with. sometimes they are the only 'people' i talk to for days!! best part they don't seem to care that i'm a little nutty...they like me anyway.

sleep is not a bad thing. sometimes it's what helps us get through the day. and even staring off into space isn't so bad if you can at least try to think of something...don't want you to go all catatonic on us!

personally i think you are doing awesome just playing with the cat, staring off into space, sleeping AND writing here! when we're depressed that IS a lot!

be kind to yourself. we all know the depression will ebb and flo... right now you are in a really poopie place. ride it out. and give your cat some kisses!!

[lmg103]

you can do it turquoise!! don't give up. remember what you and your T talked about....you CAN get through this

hugs

[madisgram]

hey turq, ,sorry things are rough for you. don't forget you can always go for a walk to just get out of the house, etc. the exercise might help you too with any depression. i used to go thru whats going on with you when i returned home so i can really relate. it was like the family had a label for me that really didn't fit. glad you talked with your T too...saw earlier post. try to utilize anthiing the T suggested to help you get thru this.
..and animals are always good to have around. they love us unconditionally.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((( turquoisesea ))))))))))))))))))

[turquoisesea]

Ok, I'm starting to work more on handling this. It's overwhelming and it hurts. Hopefully though I'll be able to hang onto something
even if it's just enough that I can come back.

*picks myself up... dusts myself off... still bruised but tries to keep walking*

thanks everyone.
means alot

[jrae]

turquoisesea,

i understand your situation. hang in there. i don't have much to say, only this... always remember that you are not alone. there are people who are willing to listen. fight the thoughts in your head any way you can - use the tv, music, your cat! just take it one day at a time - it's all anyone can do...

jrae