[2bfree]

So I'm being all progressive and what not and trying to sort my head out to have a better life, and it doesn't seem like the rest of the world is going to be very much help at all with this. I can't even leave out of my house at 8:30 in the morning without meeting an enoromous asshole, and this is just not good for my state of mind. I don't even know what to say other than that this woman just intentionally pulled a giant **** move, and if I don't post about this I'm likely to curse her out. This would help me to let it go, but she's probably somebody's mother and I was just raised to not talk to someone that's your elder that way, and unfortunately everything I have to say to her right now will be highly offensive and profanity-laced. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!!!!

[reddevil]

I can stand some people sometimes either.. sometimes they just really really suck.

I think you need to put yourself before some woman who won't know that your insulting her, and do whatever you need to let this out.

[ThePainNeverDies]

Wow!! I feel exactly the same sometimes!! When I first started trying really, really hard with recovery, and still now sometimes, I would feel like people were just trying to make it even harder for me, that they weren't making any effort to make it any easier for me.. I mean.. I'm still in the beginnings, but after 42 days of no SI, I'm starting to feel really proud of myself and soon, things will get easier for you, I promise..

You're seeing things like this because you're highly sensitive at the moment and you're subconsciously expecting everyone else to adjust to your needs and know that you're finding it difficult, but people that don't know you, won't.. I know exactly how you feel about screaming profanities at this woman, I'm the same! But maybe just a calm, "This really doesn't help my mood" or something like that, might help her to see the error of her ways, something along those lines should help.

I hope things begin to feel easier for you very soon

take care of yourself x

[2bfree]

thanks for that, I appreciate what you are saying but it's a little bit different for me right now. I don't expect anyone to be more sensitive, I'm just baffled at people's behavior towards others sometimes. I am sensitive to it because my dad loves to make people feel bad, he likes screaming at you (profanity, personal insults etc) when he's drunk and he's always drunk, so pretty much if I am going to go and see him I know that this is what's going to happen. On rare occasions he's actually nice, but that involves screaming/singing painfully into your ear, slobbering on you, repeating himself 5-10 times, taking over every conversation with his pointless rants etc etc. And everyone is going to look at you like you are the one who should be used to this by now, and it should not bother you because that's "just how he is". I don't know why I'm surprised anymore by anyone's bad behavior, this is part of what troubles me. If I could be used to it and expect it I think I'd be in a better frame of mind to handle even the little things, like what that jerk of a woman did that morning.

This may not make any sense I'm just not in a good frame of mind right now, I was around him last night and once again wondering why I would feel guilty cutting him completely the hell out of my life now that my mom is free of him and her soul is at rest. I've done it a few times but maybe it's time it's for good.