[4everlonely]

I have never shared my feelings with anyone before except my sister, shes the only one that has known about my depression. I have only one friend at a level were we actually talk about personal stuff. I finally told her about my depression and the hard time i have been going thru. of course she didnt understand-she just yelled at me and told me to get over it! she said alot of hurtful things to me and im not sure how to take this. I feel even more alone now, i wish i wouldnt have told her, i feel like i have lost my only friend. all i wanted was an ear...not help...just be able to express myself as she has done with me through out the years, i have always been there for her thru her troublesome times, was i wrong to think she would be there for me?
I am sinking further into a dark place, i dont know what to do. I told myself not to keep these feelings bottled up anymore,it would just make things worse, but now i feel i should have kept them to myself.

[Puffyprue]

i think i have big ears.....

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((((((( 4everlonely ))))))))))))))))

I don't think that you were wrong to expect your friend to be there for you, it sounds like a very poor reaction from her. It may be time to analyze your friendship with this person. Have you ever expressed any problems that you are having to her? If so how did she react to that? Is this a friendship in which she only depends on you to listen to her problems and she don't want you to share problems?
Some other things to consider is if she has any experience with depression?
It just sounds like something that needs some thought on your part, friendship is give and take and being there for each other.
I am sorry that she reacted the way she did, we are all here for you.

[4everlonely]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

((((((((((((((((((( 4everlonely ))))))))))))))))

I don't think that you were wrong to expect your friend to be there for you, it sounds like a very poor reaction from her. It may be time to analyze your friendship with this person. Have you ever expressed any problems that you are having to her? If so how did she react to that? Is this a friendship in which she only depends on you to listen to her problems and she don't want you to share problems?
Some other things to consider is if she has any experience with depression?
It just sounds like something that needs some thought on your part, friendship is give and take and being there for each other.
I am sorry that she reacted the way she did, we are all here for you.

yes, i have talked to her before about similar things, her reaction has always been, your strong you will get thru this, you always have! thats the point i was trying to make to her, some people have a limit of what they can handle and i have reached mine. your right about needing to analyze my friendship with her. she has never experienced depression,she has had some sad times which i was there for her, but at the same time i feel maybe i shouldnt expect much from someone who has no idea how this feels. i dont know, i have always had to rely on myself thru everything maybe i need to keep it that way. thank you for listening

[stefano]

People don't understand this thing, that's all. If we don't want to get too negative about it, let me say it would be better to strike out that your friend is not required to do something, but just listening is helpful. If you get another chance, of course.

The best of luck

[4everlonely]

Originally Posted by stefano

People don't understand this thing, that's all. If we don't want to get too negative about it, let me say it would be better to strike out that your friend is not required to do something, but just listening is helpful. If you get another chance, of course.

The best of luck

I took the liberty of writting an email to this friend to let her know i didnt need her judgement but just an ear and to remind her of the times i was an ear for her without judgement but understanding. I am anxiuos to find out what her reply will be.
thanks for your advice!

[JudeeB]

Why is it if we tell someone we have a physical ailment we get sympathy and concern but when it's a mental health issue some people freak out on us? I believe others have hit the nail on the head, they don't understand what they haven't dealt with and this culture still has a very hostile, ignorant outlook on mental health problems.

I have faced that ignorance for many years and do what I can to educate when the other person is even a little bit willing to be open minded.

They are just as ignorant about taking medications for emotional issues. Somehow it's OK to take meds for high blood pressure but I should be able to tough it out with depression. Say what?

It takes time and courage to find a small group of supportive people to help us walk through our depression issues. Not just anyone has the empathy, compassion or ability to accept where we are. Doesn't make them bad people. They can't give what they don't have.

You were very courageous to try to be honest and seek support. Maybe she won't be able to be there for you with this issue. That makes me sad for you but I hope you will find others who can be supportive.

Judy

[kebsfroggy]

Originally Posted by 4everlonely

I have never shared my feelings with anyone before except my sister, shes the only one that has known about my depression. I have only one friend at a level were we actually talk about personal stuff. I finally told her about my depression and the hard time i have been going thru. of course she didnt understand-she just yelled at me and told me to get over it! she said alot of hurtful things to me and im not sure how to take this. I feel even more alone now, i wish i wouldnt have told her, i feel like i have lost my only friend. all i wanted was an ear...not help...just be able to express myself as she has done with me through out the years, i have always been there for her thru her troublesome times, was i wrong to think she would be there for me?
I am sinking further into a dark place, i dont know what to do. I told myself not to keep these feelings bottled up anymore,it would just make things worse, but now i feel i should have kept them to myself.

You will find plenty of friends here. The listen and understand type friends. We have all or almost all be the deep way down to the bottom lows. Sometimes things get better sometimes it is just a false alarm and you back to the bottom again.

Please feel free to post here any time. As a frog of little brain I'm not too good in the sage advice field but will to listen. In fact, one of us is usually around or in and out. Most importantly we understand what you are going through.

[TearsOnMyPillow]

I recently told a business associate about my "issues" to try to explain some goofy behavior. They said, I've had depression too, we'll have to get together for coffee! Three weeks later and there has been no contact. Now I feel like an even bigger goof who should have kept my mouth shut!

[JimWriter]

Sometimes our friends don't act very friendly. They're complex beings. Maybe she was having a bad day??? Either way, your friend shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry about your struggles.