[Melpomene]

I was so proud of myself. Igot up at 9AM, even though I didn't feel like it. I swept up, washed up, did Jazz's litterbox, sorted the recycling, emptied the bin, put in a new binliner, did my half of the washing up (I would have done it all but there was LOADS and I needed to do my work), showered, did 3 washloads, did an essay and even started tidying my room.

My mum stayed at her boyfriends last night, and before she left she asked me to put the lamb in at 12 today, so that's what I did.

Anyway today she comes back, asks why I'd put the meat in and why Hadn't I checked with her, yells about the tiny bit of washing my brother hadn't done (He appears to have selective sight) and made me come up here to cry.

I know she hates coming home ready to do things and has to hold them off to do other things we were supposed to do, but still. She's apologised now, but it's still totally ruined my mood, the one which I'd worked so hard today to get.

I still have tonnes of homework, but now I just really don't feel like it.

Why can people ruin things? It's even worse when it's unintentional because I just feel I'm being over-sensitive.

Edit:

And I'm guilty of it too. I turned an amazing guy down because I jsut can;t really give anyone romantic interest and he's realyl sad. He's so sweet amd amazing and I wish I could like him. Or anyone.

[turquoisesea]

Anyway today she comes back, asks why I'd put the meat in and why Hadn't I checked with her, yells about the tiny bit of washing my brother hadn't done (He appears to have selective sight) and made me come up here to cry.

parents... my mother has done that kind of thing lots too. Its not your fault, please don't blame yourself

And I'm guilty of it too. I turned an amazing guy down because I jsut can;t really give anyone romantic interest and he's realyl sad. He's so sweet amd amazing and I wish I could like him. Or anyone.

Again, this is NOT your fault. If you don't feel for someone, you don't.

I just want to say this... because you remind me a lot of what I was like, when I was home. Dunno how old you are... assuming you're still living with Mother, which level of school are you in?
About, relationships. Feelings are what they are. You can't force them. You can push them deep down inside but they are still there. The feelings WILL come. I took a long time to get a bf. I barely felt for anyone, I had a crush or two but did not act, the time was not right. honestly I'm so glad I waited. I have found an amazing person to be with now. And I know, that if I had faked a feeling, or had acted too soon it just wouldn't have been the same. Sorry that he's sad, but he would have been so much sadder if you had given him romantic interest without feeling behind it - him find that out later, that would have hurt SO much worse. You did good.

Please, try not to blame yourself. I have problems with this, because ofmy mother yelling at me so much, I have a huge tendency to blame everything on myself but... I think both of us have to realize that we are not the cause of all the bad things, we are not bad. Hey, if we could control all this, i dunno about you but for me no one would be mad at me, my mom would be happy,... everything would just be. Too bad I don't have that power. But... just because I"m not all power, doesnt make me bad, same goes for you

hope at least some of this made sense - I'm kinda having a day where I ramble, so neways
sending hugs

[Melpomene]

It made laods of sense, and I am feeling a bit better now. Tired, but better. I know what I did was right, but I still hurt him.

I jsut cant seem to regret him liking me, even though it would have been better for him if he hadn't.

Does that make me a bad person?

iknow it's not my fault and that yes, it is definately better now than later. I jsut cant help feeling a little down.

My mum doesnt bother me that much, I know shedoesnt mean it, it jsut still brings my mood down

[turquoisesea]

I jsut cant seem to regret him liking me, even though it would have been better for him if he hadn't.

Does that make me a bad person?

it's natural to like being loved, there's nothing wrong with that

it's one of the highest compliments someone can give you in a way.
So, no I don't think that makes you a bad person

As far as your mom - mothers will do that *sigh* my mom did all the time without meaning to, I didnt' know how to cry then but I cried inside

[Taonuviel]

hope you're feeling better about things.

[Melpomene]

*hugs everyone*

I am

[PLEASE_STOP]

Sorry I don't know you...I'm new here.

For me, depression is wild! I'm trying to figure it out, but I can't. I do feel better being here with all of you. The drugs just mask it and make you tiered. There MUST be an answer and help for what we are going through.

I hope you feel better and get rid of this horrible cross we bare!

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Melpomene

Why can people ruin things?

hi mel,,i can allow people to impact my moods too. what i have discovered tho in therapy is that i don't have to let it affect my mood. you did a lot of nice and productive things. can you focus on that part and disregard mum's error? she's human too and we all make mistakes. be kind to yourself, mel. your life will get better if you do!!

[Fuzzybear]

[Melpomene]

hmm, I think you're right. I need to learn to concentrate on the right bits!

[turquoisesea]

hmm, I think you're right. I need to learn to concentrate on the right bits!

I need to do that too, knowing that is so huge, and being able to do it can solve so much