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#1
Feb 08, 2009, 08:18 PM
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I can feel it slipping away again. I felt good, maybe not perfect, but almost normal for almost a week, and I was just starting to let myself hope. I was starting to realize that I COULD get better, that I COULD be happy again, that I could come to a place where I wouldn't be depressed. I've been gorging myself on good books and sitcoms -- I even laughed, genuinely LAUGHED while I was watching them. I started feeling less heavy, less like there was a weight in my stomach all the time. I started feeling more than hopeless, more than numb. But now it's starting to go away, and I can feel myself trying to cling to that little bit of hope that I had but I'm so scared it's going to disappear completely, and I'm going to be right back where I started, or worse. I thought things were starting to look up. I don't think I could handle it if all that pain and numbness and heaviness came back. I haven't cried in over a week. Now I can't stop. I'm scared. I don't want to be like this anymore!
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Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
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#2
Feb 08, 2009, 11:21 PM
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Quote:
 Keep it up. Unfortunately there are going to be dips in both direction, I think the best thing to do is to try your hardest not to let a downward dip make you so upset that you dig down even further and make it hard to get out. Hold onto that week, and allow it to help you pull yourself back up 
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
 justfloating
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#3
Feb 08, 2009, 11:23 PM
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(((((((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))))
__________________
As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
| justfloating
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#4
Feb 09, 2009, 12:38 AM
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Try to have patience to go thriugh the hard days, eventually they will become less and less until you will be able to look back and say Look!! I've made it!!!
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| justfloating
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#5
Feb 09, 2009, 02:12 PM
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Thanks, all. This morning was absolutely horrible. I skipped my only lecture today (and it's the first day of classes
 ) and stayed in bed until early this afternoon, then somehow the depression lifted just enough for me to get dressed, then enough for me to walk to my favourite coffee place, then enough for me to go to the library and read for a couple of hours. I feel semi-decent now, much better than last night. I'm not sure what happened but thank you so much for your support. Hugs to all!
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
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#6
Feb 09, 2009, 02:40 PM
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I'm so sorry your feeling like this.......
It's the same with me. It comes and goes! All these meds they make you try are just BS! There must be another way....there HAS to be another way! I'll never give up on trying to be happy 100% of the time. Why shouldn't we be!!! If I ever figure it out, I'll surely let you know. I always say..."Nobody should suffer"!
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Nobody Should Have To Suffer! 
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| justfloating
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#7
Feb 09, 2009, 02:48 PM
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it happens sometimes, I'm glad you could go to your favorite coffee place, that always cheers me up
__________________
Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| justfloating
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#8
Feb 10, 2009, 12:36 PM
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((((((((((((((( justfloating ))))))))))))))))
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| justfloating
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#9
Feb 10, 2009, 02:36 PM
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Hi,
I really think that anyone who has ever suffered from depression, or any other bad state of mind for that matter, will be able to relate to your experiences. We didn't choose it in the first place, and we often feel so powerless to stop it from recurring. I can't offer you any sort of blanket assurances - I can't even offer them to myself! What I can suggest is that you try to recognise that the depression is NOT YOU but a temporary mental condition arising in temporary circumstances. It is not a big scary monster lurking to get you, even if it feels like that, but rather just a temporary blip of bad weather in your mind. We sometimes say that it is 'cloudy' but behind the clouds the sun is always shining; and behind any mental bad weather we may be experiencing lies a mind with the potential to experience happiness and joy.
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| justfloating
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#10
Feb 10, 2009, 07:49 PM
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About twelve hours ago I was sitting in my counsellor's office, telling her how good I felt and listening to her tell me that she could see a definite improvement in my mood since our last appointment. Now, I'm starting to feel flat again. Flat and lifeless and lost. She said there'd be mood swings, that this wasn't going to be perfect overnight, and we agreed that at least if I hit a low mood now that I have started having good days too, the bad ones should start getting easier to get out of.
That is so much easier to believe when you're having a good spell
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
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#11
Feb 10, 2009, 08:36 PM
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*hugs* I hate the bad spells.. remember though, you're dipping back up too!
congratulations, that you've been ABLE to feel better sometimes, I'm so happy for you. *hugs*
__________________
Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| justfloating
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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