[Sally40]

I say things like "you're such an idiot" (and with stronger language) all the time these days. It seems to be getting worse. I'm constantly upset and embarrassed by things I've done or said, even though if I look at my behavior objectively it doesn't seem so bad. I remember things I did years ago and they still bother me. How do any of you out there counteract these negative self-messages and remembering? I need to do something. P.S. I am in therapy and on medication for depression. Thanks!

[turquoisesea]

I have some trouble with that too, best thing I have is to make up a list of reinforcing statments about yourself. Even if you don't fully believe them say them out loud 20??? times a day, write them over and over again even. the hope being, that you can believe in the statements and reminds yourself that you are looking too negative and that there ARE positives.
Just having a physical reminder might help

sorry that I don't have more advice,
also,

to PC

[tarabug922]

Sally,

The key is to keep on saying them, even if you don't believe them, there will be a magic day where it will click and all of a sudden it will become like second nature. I remember the day it clicked for me. I've been doing well ever since. I promise that day will come, Just keep on counteracting every single negative statement you catch yourself making with positive more self-affirming ones.

Love and Hugs,
Tara

[jacq10]

Hi Sally,
The best thing that I've done that has helped counteract those negative thoughts, it to think of something that directly contradicts them. If you are thinking "I'm such an idiot" think of GOOD things that you have done, or situations in which you were NOT an idiot - they ARE out there. Also, the more that you can recognize that these thoughts are in fact negative, the more likely that you are going to be able to see that they are unrealistic. Have you ever done Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? That works directly on recognizing those negative thoughts, and providing strategies to counter-act them.
Jacq

[madisgram]

hi sally and welcome to pc!!!
first off feelings are not facts.
what worked for me was a suggestion from my therapist...he suggested i write down a list of "assets" and "liabilities" about myself. i drew a line down the page with the headings at the top. just for an example let's say i wrote under "liabilites", i am worthless. under "assets" i wrote, i am a good friend. well after revewing the list as time went on i could visually see where my assets contradicted my liabilites. like you can't be a good friend and worthless too! this helped me see that i was carrying around a lot of false belifefs about myself. with this list i could remind myself when i had a false belief, of the true belief.
it does take some thinking and honesty to do this constructive list. as the days went on i could see more and more contradictions about what i wrote that i felt about myself under liabilites.
i hope this can help you too. many of us do carry around a lot of 'old tapes" that just are not true about ourselves and it makes us feel badly about who we are. the fact is we are not that person irl!!
keep us posted about how u r doing and know that u matter to us.
ps those negative feelings we have feed into the depression. if u can break the chain you will experience more days of joy and less of despair. worked for me!!

[lindee]

Originally Posted by Sally40

I say things like "you're such an idiot" (and with stronger language) all the time these days. It seems to be getting worse. I'm constantly upset and embarrassed by things I've done or said, even though if I look at my behavior objectively it doesn't seem so bad. I remember things I did years ago and they still bother me. How do any of you out there counteract these negative self-messages and remembering? I need to do something. P.S. I am in therapy and on medication for depression. Thanks!

(((((Sally)))))

Everyone has given you good ideas. I have the same problem as you. SO much negativity toward myself. But my pdoc told me recently to write a list of positive things about myself, tape them to the bathroom mirror and read them to yourself many times a day while you are looking in your eyes. Many times. And keep adding to the list as often as you can. It is hard to read them cause I don't completely believe some of them but they say it will eventually change your attitude if you keep at it.

i have come up with some very simple ideas for myself such as-I make good chili, I keep the laundry done, I love my husband, I smile easily, I journal almost everyday, I am polite, etc. Simple things. Hang in there. You CAN love yourself. One thing you can start off with is that you found Psychcentral. Thats a positive.

[Liberada]

I do this a lot.. then I come up with "proof" for my false facts. I really need to get this positive affirmations thing down to a habit.

[Capp]

Sally, hello and welcome!

Such good advice and I hope it helps you stop beating yourself up...
My own thing is GIGO==Garbage In Garbage Out.
It's a way of getting rid of those head tapes that tell me I'm screwed up in some way. This kind of garbage was dumped on me while growing up.
With the help of my therapist, I visualized that garbage being dumped on me, But I also had the visual of emptying it from my heart...also deflecting it when I felt those old feelings coming back.
It took practice but it works for me.
GIGO

Cap

[gaugreg1x]

Greetings . Big time negative self talk and ruminator here. feel free to pm me. Greg

Originally Posted by Sally40

How do any of you out there counteract these negative self-messages and remembering? I need to do something. P.S. I am in therapy and on medication for depression. Thanks!