Bad day

Today I am so depressed and I do not even want to get out of bed. I do not feel well on top of it. I have the words of my mother going through my head and can not get them out. "What do you have to be depressed about?" It makes me more depressed when I hear crap like this. Why does it seem like people who are not depressed have no idea there does not have to be one given situation or a reason to be depressed. I have also gotten that you choose to be depressed.

If I had a choice mine would be once I get out of bed set both feet on the floor and say to myself today is going to be a great day. Do I have a reason to be depressed? Yes my brain is not allowing me to find joy in life and be happy.

Maybe there is something I am missing about being depressed. Someone please tell me where the switch is so I can just shut it off since that is what others think.

(((((Tmac)))))

Most people don't know what its like to have depression so you can't really blame them for trying to help. My husband is a wonderful man and trys to brighten my days but he admits that he doesn't understand my pain. Luckily there are friends here that do understand.

I think of it not as an on and off swithch but as a dimmer switch. I keep my expectations in line with that idea.

Take Care.

Hi Tmac,

I am really sorry to hear your having a bad day. I was happy to hear from you though! Other's don't have a clue @ depression. I'm glad for them! but if they could understand! not pity! but empathize? Perhaps the only way to understand the depths of depression is to experience it, which I wish on no one. But back to you!
It's hard. Up, jump in the shower & get dressed! You have today! You Can Live this one Day Well, Yes!! Pick some of the coping strategies - activities you enjoy & do them!! Make today a Gift to Yourself!! Yes YOU are that Important & Worth It!!
IMHO, please check under Depression Resources, "Just For Today"
http://www.nhal-anon.org/Just4Today.html it's Fabulous!
You are not alone Tmac, plz know I really care about you.
Love you,
Holmes

((((((((((Tmac))))))))))

It's really rough when the other people in our lives don't understand our depression. This is an illness that is very hard to understand for people who don't or have never had it, because it's not rational. The irrationality is a symptom, isn't it? No, we may not have "something to be depressed about" except for the fact that we are depressed. It doesn't make a lot of sense to other people, and I suppose we have to forgive them for that.

Ignore your mother's voice in your head. You are sick. You are legitimately ill and you legitimately need time to heal. Part of the struggle with this illness is dealing with the fear that we're not really sick, that we're just lazy or have no will power or weak. But those fears, those thoughts of our own weakness, those are proof of the depression. I was once asked what I could possibly have to be depressed about and I answered, "You know, I have no idea. I feel lost and I can't figure out why. Isn't that sad?" The other person had nothing to say to that, because I acknowledged the irrationality of it but made it very clear that it was not within my power at that moment to fight it off.

I don't think there is an on/off switch with depression. I'm recovering from my depression, and I'm no longer in the hole I was in, but I still have my bad days. It doesn't just go away. The depression always hovers, sort of on the sidelines, waiting for its chance to get back in. I've found that the best thing for it is to acknowledge exactly where I am at any given time. If I feel good, then that's great, and I act accordingly -- go out, have fun, get some work done, run some errands, etc -- and if I feel low, well, then I feel low and I'm just going to have to take a sick day while I work through it. It doesn't mean giving in to the depression, it just means acknowledging that on the days that things are bad, I can't do as much, and I forgive myself for that because I know that if I had the choice, I would never choose to feel this way. The best thing is to be kind to yourself, and take it all one day at a time.

Hm, I seem to have rambled a bit there. I hope you can find something in there to help, or at least make you feel a little better. I'm sending you lots of hugs and good vibes.

((((((((((((((( Tmac ))))))))))))))))

Thank you all.....been fighting hard and trying to feel better. Both physically and mentally. Funny thing is I finally started seeing a T and got meds from the doc and thought it would get better not worse. I think a lot of the mental side is the first day with the T were all the questions about childhood and relationships. I feel very exposed. even thought she has only seen tid bits of my life.

(((((Tmac)))))

Your new T needs to schedule a session with your mother so that he can educate her about your situation (without betraying confidences). Hopefully, she will learn a few things and be more empathetic.

you have made a good step forward in seeing a T.
it's always hard the first few times--all the "groundwork" and
tid bits of your story.
it gets better so just roll with it.

lots of well dones for you

wi