[Overcastbutclearing]

So, yesterday I thought life was bad. Everytime things look like a better horizon I get pooped on. As if life was already going bad, I found out today that the company I have worked for the past 3 years is closing it's doors at the end of April.
I try to see the light, but I realize when I see it that it is just another train coming head on.
Been up and down most of my adult life. Been hospitalized over a dozen times but always find the strength to hang in there a little longer. I have been doing really well for the past 4 years. Now it seems like I am starting all over again with anxiety, depression. They said I am BPD. I take Celexa but after April I will not have insurance to be on the meds.
I used to cut but haven't. Now the urge has been hinting to me again.
I am starting to have doubts all over again.
I just sit down and lose myself and realize 30 minutes have gone by and I have no idea what I have been doing for those 30 minutes.
I don't know if I am even making sense now....does anyone understand me?

[dasiy6]

I am so sorry for your hard times....I have the same hopes (work really hard to pull myself back) and fears...that it wont matter in the long run . What you have written scares me....they are my fears. I wish I could offer more support but I am afraid I am down too deep myself to really help. But I will pray that things get better for you....for us all!
Be well...

[mortimer]

I don't think you're going to want to get off of the meds. Is there gov. assistance you could get?

I'm sorry life has been going down a bad road for you lately. It isn't fair at all, but don't use that as reason to give up. Life can be pretty poopie, but if you give up you won't see the potential good in it.

I know what you're talking about, you make perfect sense. You're not doubting you, the depression is making you doubt you. Don't forget the difference.

And don't start cutting again. Stopping is a big achievement, and everyday you resist is a step in the right direction alright? Don't forget.

You didn't mention anything about therapy, are you in it right now? You might want to look into it. Maybe your T could point you into the direction of some programs that could help you out.

*hug* Good luck, I hope the best for you both.

(((((((((((((SJ)))))))))))))))))))

[Wants2Fly]

Hi SJ --

It is indeed bad news that you will lose your job next month. I wish you great good wishes in getting out and finding a job now, so that you make a smooth transition.

That would do a lot to help your fears.

If you can afford it, you will be able to maintain your health insurance at your own expense under the Cowbra Law, for 18 months. I found a pdoc in New Orleans who gave me a whole plastic shopping bag full of Effexor samples when he heard I was out of work, so as others have said, don't give up.

Strange and mysterious things can happen for good as well as bad.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((SJ)))))))))))))))))))))

[vacantangel]

SJ, I'm sorry to hear you're losing your job. That certainly is very stressful. Why don't you try looking for a new job right away and maybe you'll find one before your current one ends. Please don't start cutting again. (((((((((((((((sj))))))))))))