it's other people...

I've come to believe other people make you miserable for the most part, not yourself. It's true most of the time. I mean, you can argue with me all you want, but the truth of the matter is that other people absolutely can and do make you miserable, BUT they absolutely CANNOT make you happy or even content. They can at most, enhance that, to some degree.
Other people have the power to make you miserable. You yourself have that power too, but it's rarely exercised. No, rather you think, other people say you YOU ALONE are making yourself miserable...NOT. Think about it. As a social animal do you have the power to 100% control something that is HEAVILY socially infulenced like depression or anxiety? No. You don't. Other people possess too much of that power.
Disagree? What do we look to OTHER people for? Beauty? Absolutely! Success? No doubt. Popularity? Hello! Furthermore, we look for the approval of our parents and siblings, our bosses and co-workers. Oh, and then, there is the whole religion thing...Are you righteous enough---for other people????
What I have discovered is, I AM miserable around people who are narcissistic, superficial, judgmental, petty, mean, self-centered, perpetually envious, and insanely competitive. Who wouldn't be? Fact is, I was/ am SURROUNDED by these people. The only time I'm depressed/hopeless/feeling inferior/not liking life at all is when I'm around these people!
When I'm alone, I'm NOT saying everything is ROSES, but I would NEVER trade my own company for the company of those soul eating vampires who truly do make me miserable.
I'm not saying I've conquered my depression, but I've learned to really enjoy the company of the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate person I have ever met...and that is ME!!!!

Hmm... you raise some interesting points. I certainly can agree with you that there are times (and certain people) who most definitely can have a negative (or positive) effect on your mood. These energy vampires can suck you so dry and all you are left with are feelings of despair - or sometimes anger or frustrations. I guess what I would like to point out though, is that those things, they are situations. My guess is that when you're alone you're not consumed by those same feelings you experienced when you are around these "narcasistic, superficial, judgemental.. etc etc" individuals... you are only left with how YOU feel. And if it is these people that are making you feel bad or depressed... then my guess is that you're not really depressed (according to what you have said in this post - I don't know your personal history).

When you look at society on a surface level, it does look like people live their lives according to other people - and hey, some people do.... but I would like to think that most people do things because THEY want to. People who are secure in who they are do things, and look a certain way, and make decisions based on what THEY want. Who defines what is successful for ME? I do. Who defines what I consider beautiful? I do. As for popularity... well that is a whole issues in and of itself that it designed especially for these people who attribute everyone else as having "power." They long for approval because they feel powerless or inadequate.. but most likely, because they are scared. Maybe they are scared of disapproval, but maybe they are just scared to form their own opinion. Scared to be HAPPY. Scared to live their own lives and make their OWN decisions because sometimes.. well sometimes its just easier to let other people make the premise of your decisions.

I would like to illustrate my point in a scenario: take a "typical" person who recieves both a compliment and an insult. With a compliment, the person is likely to react in a positive way (which would add to your argument that a person looks to other people to affirm their beauty for example). However, that very same person could recieve an insult, and instead of looking deep into how they can change that part of themselves, they will "typically" attribute that comment as something of the OTHER person... so if the person calls them ugly for example, the individual might blow it off and attribute the comment to that person's bad attitude.

That right there illustrates that people (in general) will look at situations and interpret them so that they are optimally represented (it could also be applied in the opposite regard so that individuals who are indeed depressed interprete both situations as a way that is self-destructive). What I am trying to say though, is that in the end, what that person said really doesn't have an influence on how the individual feels about themselves. They receive a compliment - they think, of course I look nice today. They receive an insult - they think, no I look fine thank you?! The other person plays a role in their thought processes, but ultimately, it is the INDIVIDUAL who controls these thoughts, and through correlation, controls how they interpret and react to the situation.

I guess my point is that, yes other people do play a role in your social interations, but it is YOU who controls how you interpret these interactions. It is you that can decide to either react to something in a positive or negative manner. It is you who decides which situations you place yourself in, and ultimately, it is YOU who chooses your own happiness (not biologically speaking). If you are authenic to who YOU are, then what other people say or do is not going to affect the type of person you are. I'm not saying other people don't have an influence on you, as you mentioned we are social creatures. But when it comes down to issues of mental health and self-awareness... it is very individual and ultimately, is UP TO the individual to start change.