Be-Little

No one expects it when someone uses words they know are going to hurt you, but I also didn't expect my reaction. I not only did not respond in any way, but my spirit feels like it is shrinking/fading/shroud covered...
Within seconds of those harsh words, I went from skipping along my path to feeling little, belittled and so very sad that I was blindsided again.
The walls are back up for awhile...
Games will distract me. I work through these things if I don't totally focus on them. Let the initial hurt ease off before I take action or make any decisions.

Cap

(((((((((Capp)))))))))

If that's what helps you, then that sounds like a sensible idea.

But no-one has any right to bring you down. No-one at all.. You don't deserve it one bit. Especially when they brought you out of what sounds like a great mood. That's completely unfair! They were most probably envious of your good mood.

Don't let people like this get to you. Easier said than done, I know... But understand that they must have their own issues to be bringing someone else down to make themselves happy.

I hope this has helped.

Take care of yourself

(((((((((((((( Capp )))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((Capp)))))))))))))

You know that saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me"? Sometimes I think I'd choose the sticks and stones over the names. People do all kinds of cruel things for all kinds of reasons that are almost always impossible to figure out. It's probably a good idea not to focus entirely on what happened. You are a good, caring person who does not deserve any ill treatment, and I hope that you can get through this with the knowledge that just because someone says something hurtful, it doesn't mean that they're right.

Feel better soon.

(((((((((Capp)))))))))

No one can rob you of your dignity - you can only give it away willingly.

(So don't give it away. It's yours to keep.)

Hugs (((((((((( Capp )))))))))))

You are one of the kindest, open and caring people I know. Some may try to take advantage of that. Take care of you and come back to us soon, my friend.

:hear: Capp

Time, is such a gift to yourself, wonderful way to treat yourself. Good for you, as you restore and come to conclusions.

TC
Ice

Thank you for your support and advice. I sincerely appreciate it.

When on a quick trip to the grocery store, I parked in the handicapped place. I wasn't using both crutches, my right shoulder was too sore.
If my pain level is not high then I park elsewhere and leave open those spaces. Bit of excercise and I feel it is the right thing.

A man came up to me and went into a tirade that I shouldn't be using that space, it should be saved for those who really need it, that I was a selfish **tch, and he would like to teach me a thing or two.
I was frozen. I couldn't respond. I watched him walk away.
Came home and cried a bit.

To be honest, I had not slept well the night before so I was tired. But these accusations are making me wonder if I am being selfish/lazy when I use these parking places...
Today I understand the man may have had a bad experience with a loved one needing one and one wasn't available.
It happened several years ago with my father. He asked me to take him to the mall to get a Valentine's present for my mother. He knew he was going to be homebound very soon.
After driving around the parking lot and not finding a place, I told him I would settle him in his chair in the shade (before my back was broken) , park, then we would shop.
I looked at him to see if he agreed and this old, frail man had tears in his eyes..."let's just go home. Would you get her a card from me?"
Now I had serious issues with him, but right then he was a man wanting to get his wife a present of love. And couldn't.
Before we left, I saw a mall security officer and told him about people without the placards parking there...his response was they couldn't keep up with them.

Yesterday just plain shocked me. It also made me think and wonder if I do take advantage of it.
I'm truly chasing my tail on this one. Maybe I am taking a spot away from another old man/woman needing it...

Games here I come. Then I'm going to dig in the earth and plant, plant, plant. I sit on my ample arse and do the best I can. It's not a Home and Garden patio, but it's pretty and I like it...

Cap

This man didn't know you. He has no idea what you have been through and even IF you were using the space when you shouldn't have been, he still had absolutely NO right to speak to you or anyone else like that! You have a right to use those spaces, you know that. What right has a stranger to call another human being a **tch?

That really made me angry reading what this man did to you and I'm guessing it has brought up all sorts of things for you. Put it where it belongs - some bastard who had no sensitivity decided to lay into you and he knows nothing about you!

Hugs friend, don't let this beat you.

Hi Capp !
Please don't let that narrow-minded jackass' comments get you down. Who the hell is he to judge? What right does he have to speak to you in that way, or to any woman? You said most of the time you don't even park in the handicapped spot; only when you really need to. That just proves what most of us on PC already know, that you are a generous and caring person. Forget that jerk, he's not even worth the energy.

It sounds like although you did not have LEGAL right to the space, you were NOT being lazy, and if I had been the one watching you come back to your car on crutches well one crutch I would have been fine with that. For what its worth. People don't know. some people have handicapped things but don't need them at all, some people don't but need them dearly.

don't let the guy get to you...

Thanks again everyone for the support...

TS, I do have the placard so why he chose to speak to me this way...I don't know.

The hugs really did make me feel better, too.

Cap

((Pegs))
it did bring up some old issues...fighting them on and off today.
but I refuse to start down that road to guilt/shame/blame.
I slammed on my mental brakes so I don't have a mental break.

Cap

...so much for mental brakes

I'm in a loop of anger-sadness-tiredness. Amazing how quickly I am swinging around it, too.
If I could concentrate on one it would help to bring them together. Perhaps then some sense of understanding would emerge from the messiness in my mind

Cap

*hugs*
about the placard - then you were well in your rights, even legally
You be silly

And... try to give yourself a break, be good to yourself. Break the cycle by going out, treating yourself to something you like. Understanding can wait. YOU come first

TS, thanks...

I'm thinking a hot fudge sundae would perk me up and probably spread me out
Yep that sounds so much better than counting the black caps feeding near the patio.
Sure would take my mind off my poor showing in the word games...level 2?!

Hugs ((((((( Capp )))))))

The title of your thread kind of said it all really. This man made you feel very little. I don't know if you know anything about transactional analysis but putting it briefly here. Everyone's personality has a Parent-Adult-child within there own system. The man that yelled at you used has big yucky Parent personality to put you down. You immediately went into child mode. Unable to speak, blaming self, feeling yucky. Get your adult part of you to comfort the child part of you for a bit. The child part of you has been reminded about all sorts of yuck by the sounds of it. Yeah, ice cream will do!

I get those suspicious looks when I, with a handicapped license plate, park in a handicapped spot. No one has the right to determine if your handicap isn't as serious as theirs. Handicap comes in all shapes and sizes.

Cap, don't let small-minded people get to you, you are a good person. I value your opinion here at PS and look forward to your postings.

When someone intends on hurting you with harsh words, say this to them "The same to you and tell your mother." That may or may not hit home, but I use it when I have to. You have to fight fire with fire.

Im sorry you ran into such a jerk. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. I may not know you personally but from your posts ive read and the messages we've exchanged I know you really are a good and caring person.

I hate how people fly off the handle. If that man had concerns about you parking there he could have always politely questioned you. This just serves as another example of what a good person you are.. had it been me id have beaten him with my crutch and then yelled "here! now you too can have a valid reason to have the damned spot!" I know. Im mean. I give what I get.

Seriously though, you are a wonderful and caring person who had every right to park where you did whether that jerk wanted to acknowledge it or not.

I'm surprized he didn't call 911 and report you and then go visit the magistrate and get a restraining order on you .

All of which you could have done to him . No telling what he was thinking " he knew" about you .




I know how this feels and some things said can hit so deep and hurt so much you just wish you were not here.

I 've been Be -Littled . In after having been belittled most of my life it takes a feather to knock me down. Only this time it was'nt a feather it was a sledge hammer and the hole was pre dug by a knowing grave digger.

I hope your still standing. Me I get back up but recrumble.

Patricia

(((cap))) that man had no right to talk to you that way. No one has a right to talk to anyone that way. That was way out of line imo.

You are not taking a spot away from anyone. If anything it sounds like you are very aware when someone may need one .
DO not let that person. Down grade you . What that person did was abuse. imo.
you are a good person and kind.