[bananasarecool]

i feel nothing. ive had depression for around four years now.
i cant remember happy. i cant remember not feeling stuck. i cant remember feeling comfortable, feeling safe, feeling in control.

i dont know how im feeling now. i dont feel hate. i dont feel compassion. i dont feel love.

i just feel empty.
defeated.
tired of all this.
my boyfriend - my rock - i care so much about him. but im scared to doubt how i feel about him in case it turns out that i dont even like him.

i purged again today. we were having a family meal at this resturant for lunch. once id started walking towards the bathroom i couldnt stop till i found myself sitting on the floor crying once again.
i cant control anything any more.
my heads swirling.

[yutzman]

Have you ever thought that purging may be an issue in your life or relaitionship? Your boyfriend needs someone who also cares about him more than the personal view of yourself needs to be......

[Puffyprue]

(((((((((((((((((banana)))))))))))))
i can related to what ur feel right now ...dont give up....
we here for u.....hugs

[brephi]

Originally Posted by bananasarecool

i feel nothing. ive had depression for around four years now.
i cant remember happy. i cant remember not feeling stuck. i cant remember feeling comfortable, feeling safe, feeling in control.

i dont know how im feeling now. i dont feel hate. i dont feel compassion. i dont feel love.

i just feel empty.
defeated.
tired of all this.
my boyfriend - my rock - i care so much about him. but im scared to doubt how i feel about him in case it turns out that i dont even like him.

i purged again today. we were having a family meal at this resturant for lunch. once id started walking towards the bathroom i couldnt stop till i found myself sitting on the floor crying once again.
i cant control anything any more.
my heads swirling.

Bananasarecool, I'm sorry that you are depressed. My heart goes out to you. Depression is a mental illness like so many that are in society today. You say you purged again. Can I ask you something? Does that mean you are purging regularly?

If you are purging regularly, are you seeing a doctor? If not, maybe it would not be such a bad idea to discuss this with your family doctor. He may be able to prescribe medication for you or refer you to another professional who could possibly help you.

Lots of love and prayers go out to you, Bananasarecool.