I'm sad (trigger)

I'm sad and confused. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I'm sad about that. I'm beating myself up about it even though I have been wanting to break up with him for a while. Even though it's not what I wanted I still feel rejected.

I don't have a job right now and It's really hard for me to force myself out of bed. I go to counseling.. I take my meds.. but I still have a negative outlook on life and would rather sleep than deal with it. I've been forcing myself to get out of bed by scheduling appointments in the mornings. It works but then I come back home and go back to bed when I'm done. I try to tell myself positive things but the negative thoughts out weigh them. Maybe I choose to be depressed? Some would say that, I'm sure. My doc tells me I need a routine. I don't want to commit to anything that requires getting out of bed. I can't think of anything that I would want to do that would get me out of bed in the morning. All I want to do is sleep and avoid life. Sometimes I wish I could die. I get angry that I have to stay alive because of other people. I wish that I could convince them that my dying would be a good thing. They say it's selfish. I think they are selfish for wanting me to live a miserable life.

WTF.. I'm tired.

Sounds just like my therapist. Routines are very hard to establish and keep up with. Keep on trying we will make it eventually.

Welcome! You are amongst people that understand.

It's kind of normal to feel sad and down after a break up so be gentle with you right now, sounds like it wasn't going to last anyway. Share with your T how you feel and we are here for you also.

Hugs