[Abby]

Does anyone else hate sleeping? I really don't understand the symptom of 'sleep problems' in regard to depression. I don't feel i've ever suffered with sleep issues, but i don't think that is because i sleep well, more that i don't mind not sleeping. In fact, i would probably go so far as to say i enjoy not sleeping! My reasoning is that there are only so many hours in a day so the evenings are a relief for me and i want them to extend for forever. Why would i want to sleep because it will just bring the next day around quicker?! Sure, sometimes i want the oblivion of sleep but i rarely wish i was truly asleep because i know it cannot last (i know i'll always have to wake up again), and therefore i don't feel i get any benefit from sleeping. To be honest, i usually sleep simply because my clock tells me it is late and i must, not because i want to. That or i have a few glasses of wine and can't stop myself from dropping off (that really annoys me!). I know there are different reasons for my not sleeping, one is that my mind won't stop racing and on those nights it is pretty horrid because being in my bedroom can make me feel so trapped, but on the nights when i have pushed myself through a whole day of life and i'm not in the mood to sleep i enjoy just sitting at my window listening to silence. So i don't honestly understand how having sleep difficulties is a symptom of depression. I almost always feel tired, but that doesn't make me want to sleep, because sleeping doesn't irradicate the tiredness, it just intensifies it because it makes daily life come too quickly. Anyone agree?

[Elysium]

I feel like this once in a while, but mostly I welcome sleep! It is the only time when my mind shuts down, and the voices in my head quite down and I can just hide away, under my covers, safe and warm. My kitties curl up with me and I feel loved. In order to get to sleep though I need to take some meds to help quite down my mind and anxiety. Of course it's all good until I have a nightmare, but those have slowed up since I changed my meds.

Every once in a while though, usually if I am feeling more in tune with my Spiritual self, I will sit quietly and just enjoy being awake and appreciating the night.

Sleep issues can be a big part of depression. Some people will sleep to much to escape, some people will sleep to little, and others won't be able to turn their minds off and be able to let go of their heavy thoughts. Some people have bad nightmares too so they don't want to sleep, even when they know they need it.

[justfloating]

hi abby,

I don't hate sleeping -- for the most part, I LOVE to sleep -- but I do find it to be a waste of time. This is because my depression makes it impossible for me to do much else, and I can waste up to three days in bed, sleeping on and off ... I find it very frustrating. You can't live your life if you're constantly asleep! Sometimes I'm like you, where I'll deliberately stay awake, because the evenings are my most peaceful times too and I don't want to have to face the next day. I'm doing it now, actually -- I haven't slept much lately because of school work, and I'm exhausted, but I'm hanging out on PC trying to quiet down my depression and be peaceful and just listen to some favourite music (and wait for the party down the hall to end because it's loud!). Peace is peace -- you can get it from sleep, but I prefer the kind that I'm conscious for.